It is Thursday evening, February 25, 2026. In the oval office are President Trump, JD Vance, Pete Hegseth, Marco Rubio and Stephen Miller.
Stephen Miller, Trump’s most trusted and influential advisor, gives Trump the bad news: the Epstein files are now starting to implicate Trump, and his popularity is reaching historic lows. Something must be done. He recommends starting a war to deflect attention from Epstein. Here is the conversation:
Trump: A War? Never thought of that.
Miller: All you have to do is decide whom you want to attack.
Hegseth: Yes, a war, a war! Show the world who is Number One!
Trump: How about Canada? They don’t like us anyway, and besides it would be a great opportunity to take over the country and expand our boundaries. Plus, it would be a pushover. Their army sucks.
Vance: Great idea, Mr. President!
Hegseth: Yes, yes!
Rubio: No, not a great idea. They are our allies and our friends. This would lose votes for us in the midterms.
Trump: Ok, what about Norway? That way we could pick up Greenland, and they don’t have much of an army, do they?
Vance: Terrific idea, Mr. President!
Hegseth: Wipe ‘em out, the bastards!
Rubio: No, it is not a great idea! Norway is part of the European Union. It would mean a war with Europe.
Trump: Well, what about North Korea?
Vance: Terrific idea , Mr. President!
Rubio: They have nukes. This could start a nuclear holocaust that could mean the end of life on the planet.
Trump: Is there no country that we could attack to show how tough I am and get people to stop talking about Epstein?
Hegseth: What about Iraq?
Miller: Been there done that.
Vance: Cuba?
Miller: Too small. You have got to show the world how powerful you are. Think big. Plus, Putin might object.
Vance: China?
Hegseth: Yes, great idea.
Miller: They also have nukes and a powerful military.
Hegseth: California?
Miller: That is a state, Mr. Secretary. Yes, there is a country, Mr. President– Iran. Most of the world would go along with you, and this would make Bibi happy. Israel might even join us. The Iranians are a bunch of scoundrels, and everyone knows it. You would be a hero!
Trump: Ok, then it is Iran. Get ‘em before they get us.
Rubio: But we are getting close to another agreement on limiting their nuclear capability even further.
Trump: Well then, you tell me what country might be better.
The group huddles together and tries unsuccessfully to come up with a better alternative. They all agree that Iran is probably the only country that the Unites States could unleash its vast military arsenal on, demonstrate how powerful the United States is, and not suffer serious consequences.
Miller: Don’t worry, Mr. President. This Epstein thing will be a thing of the past.
On Friday, February 26, 2026, the bombing began.
No one knows how the movie will end.