Breaking Faux News: Joint Session of Congress Erupts in Brawl. Numerous Injuries Reported.

Washington DC, January 16, 2017. In one of the most unusual occurrences in U.S. history, a joint session of the Senate and the House of Representatives this afternoon resulted in fist fighting between scores of elected leaders on both sides of the aisle. Multiple injuries were reported, and several officials have been hospitalized though none of the injuries appear to be life threatening.

The reason for the melee was an argument over the difference in meaning between “shithole” and “shithouse.”

Several days ago President Trump was reported by Dick Durbin, U.S. Senator from Illinois, as referring to virtually all African countries and Haiti as “shitholes.” This charge was vigorously denied by two of the Republican Senators, David Perdue (GA) and Tom Cotton (Ark), who were present at the meeting and have categorically denied that the President said anything of the sort or made any comments critical of any country. They have called Senator Durbin a liar and have demanded investigations by the Senate Ethics Committee. Some Republicans are calling for Durbin to be removed from office. Others are calling him a traitor.

This weekend in interviews by the press and comments on televised talk shows, the Republican Senators confirmed that the word the President used was not “shitholes” but rather “shithouses” and repeated their demands for Durbin to be censored by the Senate. Senator Durbin, however, stands by his assertion that the term was “shitholes” and appears to be backed up by Republican Senator Lindsey Graham (SC), who was also at the meeting.

In a news conference this morning, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, explained why this is important. “What you have to understand,” she said , “Is that there is a huge difference between a shithole and a shithouse. A shithouse is simply a bathroom, and as you may know some of Trump’s supporters refer to bathrooms as shithouses. That is why he used the term. But for the President this is not a derogatory term at all but actually one of endearment. Have you seen any of the bathrooms in Trump Tower in New York or the Trump Hotel in DC? They are literally gold plated. Gold plated everything, even toilet seats. What is more, the toilets in Trump Hotels have water sprays that spray up on your, err, bottom just like they do in Japan. Trump loves these toilets. People pay big money for this. They are the hallmark of his hotels and luxury resorts and to even suggest that calling another country a shithouse is an insult just shows how dumb Democrats are and how they don’t understand the American people. Trump’s supporters know this and that is why his ratings skyrocketed after this comment came out in the press. On the other hand, a shithole is, well, a shithole, and President Trump would never use a term like this since he has never used profanity. This is why we are asking for impeachment proceedings to begin against Little Dickey Durbin.”

These comments were not received well by Democrats, who described the situation as a constitutional crisis and demanded a joint session of Congress to resolve the matter before it gets further out of hand. The White House, hoping this would enable the crisis to pass, granted the demand. The unusual joint session started this afternoon at 1:00P.M. The meeting was chaired by the Vice President, who opened his remarks by saying that the purpose of the event was to once and for all settle the difference between a shithole and a shithouse and that a voice vote would be taken at the end of the meeting after the presentations by five experts in the field of flush consulting.

Before Pence could finish his remarks, however, chanting broke out on the Republican side with virtually all Republican elected officials screaming at the top or their lungs, “ShitHOUSE, ShitHOUSE, ShitHOUSE!”

Seconds later the Democratic side erupted with chants of “ShitHOLE. ShitHOLE, ShitHOLE!”

Chaos then consumed the chamber as the Vice President banged his gavel and unsuccessfully demanded decorum. Moments later fighting broke out in the aisles. Emergency calls were made first to the Capitol Police, then the National Guard and finally the U.S. Army. Order was finally restored at 3:00 P.M. but not before scores of Congressmen and Senators had been taken to local hospitals. Details are not yet available regarding the casualties.

Trump tweeted during the melee, “Kick it to ‘em, gang! Shove ‘em down a shithole.” The tweet was retracted by Admiral Kelly seconds after it was posted.

There are reports that across the country rallies for shitholes and rallies for shithouses will be taking place this evening. As a precautionary matter, most governors have put their national guard units on high alert. More information will be forthcoming as it becomes available.

 

      

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Faux News Special: Trump’s Remarks Ignite International Crisis

Washington, DC , January 13, 2018. President Trump’s remarks that the U.S. would take action against the immigrants from “shithole countries” has set off an international firestorm in a world-wide effort to determine which countries are “shithole countries.” Except for Norway, world leaders in virtually every country are scrambling to assure their citizens—and those who have immigrated to the U.S. or have ancestors who have immigrated to the U.S.—that they are not shitholes. The White House reports that the phones have been ringing off the hook with calls from worried leaders and ambassadors.

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders responded at a hastily called news conference this morning that the President specifically singled out only a few countries as definitely being shitholes, “You know, “ she said, “the usual suspects. All the ones in Africa and South America, the Caribbean and definitely North Korea and maybe all the other ones in Asia except for Japan and South Korea and maybe some others.” When asked by a reporter if she could provide a specific list, she replied that no one in the White House actually knew the names of most of the countries in these locations but they were working hard to put together a list. She added that she could only name one country, Mexico, which she said would remain at the top of the shithole list until it paid for the Wall. She said North Korea was in a close second place. When asked if the President had ever visited any of the countries in Africa or South America, she responded that the President does not visit shitholes.

Confirmed reports indicate the assurances from the White House have not provided much comfort to world leaders. Prime Minister Teresa May called the White House to ask if Trump had cancelled his trip to the UK to dedicate the new U.S. embassy because Great Britain was a shithole country. President Macron called to ask if France was in this category because it supported the Paris Climate Accord. Angela Merkel of Germany called to see if they were on the list because they have welcomed immigrants. Justin Trudeau called from Canada to ask if they were shitholes because they welcome distressed Democrats fleeing from the U.S. The situation was only aggravated this morning when Trump tweeted, “Shithole or no shithole? It depends.” In a later tweet he said he would let people know when he got around to it if they were shitholes or not, and for now there was only one other country besides Norway that he would say was definitely not on the list and that was Russia.

Moments later Erna Solberg, the President of Norway, tweeted to the President. “Thanks but no thanks. Do you think anyone from my country would move to the U.S.? Like you, we avoid shitholes.”

 

 

 

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Let Us Now Praise Immigrant People!

Immigration is again back on the front burner. The fate of the “Dreamers” is still uncertain as are a whole bunch of other issues like who gets into the U.S. and who gets locked up and/or thrown out.

Embry and I have close relationships with two immigrant families, each of whom lived for a time in the basement apartment of close friends of ours. The first family is the Dreamer family. The husband came here from Mexico when he was 15, spoke minimal English, and had only a third grade education. He managed to find a job in construction in Richmond, and moved to the Washington area to be with his now wife, who came to the U.S. about 15 years ago from Central America and is now one of Washington’s “super nannies.” By studying hard, he was able to get his GED, now speaks fluent English, and was awarded Dreamer status several years ago. Four years ago he started his own construction company, which rehabilitates and remodels old houses, and has done well enough to permit him to purchase and rennovate his new home, which now looks like something out of Architectural Digest. They have a six-year-old son. They are involved in their local community, love the United States, and remain very close friends with our friends and with us. They are like family.

And they are terrified that if their Dreamer status is removed they will be deported.

Think about what they have accomplished and how they have played the hand they were dealt. They are the quintessential American success story. Theirs is also the immigrant story. Of course, not all immigrant stories turn out like this one, but a lot do. Trump can say whatever he wants to about making America great again. Immigrants are what made America great in the first place and are still doing it.

The second family is the refugee family. They immigrated to the U.S. about a year ago as part of the U.N. refugee resettlement program. Their experience has given me a new understanding of what some people, especially refugees, go through to make it to the U.S. and what they do when they get here. The husband is from Afghanistan and fled the country when the Taliban was in charge. Because schools were closed, he never learned to read or write. He opposed the Taliban and to avoid being killed escaped to Iran where he met the woman whom he would later marry. His father-in-law did not approve of his daughter marrying an Afghan, and his constant threats resulted in husband and wife fleeing on foot with a toddler in tow across the mountains to Turkey. They struggled to survive in Turkey for five years where they became part of a large refugee population hoping to find permanent homes. They were finally granted U.N. refugee status and arrived in the U.S. with two daughters—a two-year-old and a six-year-old, no money, no possessions and no connections or friends in the U.S. When our friends offered their tiny basement apartment to be available for refugee resettlement, they moved in.

Embry and I each spend a day every week driving the mother to English classes and delivering the toddler to kindergarten along with numerous trips to the pharmacy, the social services office to try to straighten out problems associated with refugee support, and to take her and the children to various doctors. Despite some health issues, she is always cheerful, has a twinkle in her eye, and with her limited English lets us know how grateful she is.

When I think what it would have been like for Embry and me when we were young parents to flee to Afghanistan with no money, no job, no friends, and no ability to speak or write their language, I am in awe of this family.

What stands out most about the refugee family is their determination, energy, and grit. They will not take no for an answer. Within the first couple of months, the father managed to get a driver’s license, buy a cheap car from the imam at the local mosque where the father was a dishwasher, then land on his own a job as a welder paying $14 an hour. (He had been a welder in Afghanistan.)

I wondered how anyone who could not read in any language or speak English could possibly get a drivers license. I found out how this worked when last fall his wife directed me to take her to the Department of Motor Vehicles where she met for the first time a Farsi translator, whom she had paid $175 to assist her. The DMV test is oral, and the translator repeats in Farsi the questions asked by the public official and then translates in English the answers of the Farsi-speaking applicant. The translator had two other clients that day as well and was racing back and forth to do the translations. When the test was completed and I asked if the refugee had passed, the translator said, “ Of course she passed. All my clients do.” When I asked incredulously what the score was, she said she did not know because the results weren’t yet available. A few minutes later the results came in, and our refugee had a perfect score.

So in a few months this family was able to solve on their own the car challenge and the job challenge.

The next challenge was the housing situation. Their apartment was very small, only about 500 square feet, and cold in the winter. However, it was affordable at about $500/month  after taking into account in-kind housecleaning assistance. Despite their friendship with our friends’ family, they wanted something bigger and better. No way, I concluded. His income of $14/ hour ($28,000/year) would allow the family to afford a unit renting for $800-$850 a month. The cheapest two-bedroom in the working class neighborhood they lived in was about $1,500 a month. I had contacted many apartment complexes in the area months before for another refugee family, and the leasing agents all said the same thing: The applicant had to show proof of an income of $40,000 a year to qualify for a two-bedroom unit. No exceptions.

You can imagine my surprise last week when the wife directed me to the same apartment complex a few blocks from our friends’ house, the one I had visited before and where the other refugee family now lived—but in their case the family’s church sponsors were paying the rent. She said she was going to pick up the key. “What on earth could she be thinking?” I asked myself.

To my astonishment we were greeted by a smiling leasing agent, who (after I paid the deposit) produced a signed lease and a key to a unit renting for $1,300 (discounted from the original asking price of $1,500). I could not help asking the agent if they had qualified financially. He nodded and produced documents showing pay stubs averaging $800/ week ($41,600/year). He added, “Yeah, I know the guy makes only $14/hour, but, hey, he works 60 hours a week. “

Naturally I wanted to see the apartment. Before we could enter the vacant unit, the wife said I had to take her home first, which I did. She scampered down the stairs to her basement apartment and returned moments later smiling and carrying a beautiful, leather-bound book in her hands. It was the Koran.

When we got to the apartment, she slowly opened the door while I stood in the doorway. She looked carefully around the bare living room and then gently placed the Koran in the center of a windowsill facing east. She stood silently in front of it for a brief moment and then motioned for me to enter. They had now solved the housing challenge.

All these obstacles they overcame on their own through uncompromising determination.

This is not to suggest that they are home free or that the Dreamer family is home free. Lots more challenges remain. Life is hard. For some it is much harder than for others.

But can you imagine yourself playing the cards that these two families have been dealt? Their stories are the immigrant story. They are what make America great.

 

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Great News for Aging

You may not be old or you may be old but don’t think of yourself as such, but it really does not matter. If you are lucky, you will be old someday. There is great news for those of us who are old, whether we like to think of ourselves as such or not.

(In fact some people are already old in their twenties or thirties. Others never see themselves as old. My friend, tennis icon, Allie Ritzenberg, just turned 99. He still drives, plays tennis, cooks his own (gourmet) meals, and lives in a house with breathtaking views of the Potomac River. He says he thought about moving into a retirement community but is “not ready yet.” At his 99th birthday party he was complaining about getting “only” a seven year extension on his drivers license.)

Here is the great news for us “old folks”: We have a new name.

Remember how hard it used to be to come up with a name for us? There are so many names that have been used to describe us. Here are a few: “aged,” “retiree,” “senior” (or “senior citizen”), “elderly,” “oldster,” “septuagenarian” (or “octogenarian,” “nonagenarian” or “centenarian”), “old codger,” “geezer,” “old coot,” “old biddy,” “golden-ager,” “old-timer,” “old fogey,” “old bat,” “geriatric,” “pops,” and last but not least “old fart.”

I don’t know about you, but except for “geezer,” I never felt any of these names aptly applied to me.

As many of you know, my career was spent in the field of what is called “retirement housing” or “senior living,” and which I confess I have lovingly referred to from time to time as “geezer housing.” “Retirement Housing” and “Senior Living” aren’t all that bad as names but never seemed to get it just right. I kept thinking we should have better words for people who are in their (our) 70s and 80s.

Well, now there is one. We are “Perennials.” This appeared in an op-ed piece in the Washington Post a couple of days ago. How clever, I thought. It sounds a lot like “Millennials,” who are getting all the attention nowadays, and yet is so apt for us survivors. We who are in our 70s and 80s or more and who do survive from one year to the next just keep coming back like the daffodils and tulips every spring. We are in fact “perennials.” I do not know if the name will stick or if anyone will remember it a few days from now, but it sure beats “geezer.”

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A Child’s Christmas in Maplewood

This essay, written by Jasper Ellis,  age 12, and the oldest of our four grandchildren, was his gift to us this Christmas.

One Christmas was so much like another in those years in the New Jersey suburban town that I could never remember if it snowed at all or if it was a cold gray Christmas (the latter being the most common due to the fact that we were in New Jersey).

In my mind, all the Christmases are rolled together like the cinnamon rolls we once ate on Christmas Eve, one big, delicious, fond memory. It was that same Christmas Eve (or maybe it wasn’t I can’t quite remember) that the house nearly burned down.

It was a typical New Jersey winter afternoon, mid 50’s, and I was playing with my cousins in the living room, exhausted but still running on that Christmas Eve adrenalin every child gets from the first time they recieve presents to the last time, and maybe forever after that too. Parker, who was the youngest of the cousins at that time, was about to make his lego-man blast off into the black skies of whatever he imagined space looked like then when my aunt cursed.

I paid no attention to it, because this was her fifth time to to speak a foul word today (and I don’t blame her either, because the amount of people we were hosting at her house this evening was more than I could count, even at 9). I believe about a third of my curse vocabulary has been learned at those family Christmases. But then my aunt spoke the two words that turned my blood, and certainly the other cousins as well, to ice.

“THE TURKEY!” she shrieked.

Every child in every household who’s ever had a Christmas turkey knows that it is the most delicious and most important item on the Christmas menu. All chaos broke loose.

We were given the scoop when my father and uncle came home, both looking the way that kids sometimes look when they’re in trouble. The sheepish grin. Apparently my uncle had locked the door to the house we were using to cook the turkey (for some reason we needed an extra oven) and now we could break open a window and get inside or, the better of the two from my opinion, watch this awesome mansion burn down to the ground (in my defense I had imagined it looking really cool). Over the next hour or so everyone was stressed out about the turkey except for the kids, because we at some point had lost interest and went to play outside.

I think Parker and I were playing baseball and the girls something along the lines of house, when we heard a loud cheer from inside. We all went inside to investigate.

When I asked my father what was the cause of all this, he yelled joyfully, “The turkey has been saved!” and that was that.

Christmas dinner was always my favorite meal relating to Christmas. My plate would look a bit like this: On one side a gigantic mass of red cranberry sauce, and on the other, there was a mountain of mashed potatoes that had been drowned mercilessly in a river of gravy. In between the two monster helpings of food there would be a small slice of turkey.

I didn’t really eat much meat on Christmas Eve, because of that nervous apprehension that falls over children when christmas nears, but I did eat a lot of other foods.

After the Christmas dinner was finished, we had our annual reading of A Child’s Christmas in Wales before going to bed. Then came the undebated favorite part of every child’s Christmas. The presents. I always woke up early. There has never been a time where I haven’t woken up too early on Christmas. Our family had a rule that no one was allowed out of our rooms until seven. That rule was complete torture. I would like to think that they were trying to teach us a lesson of patience, but the waiting only made us more impatient. Before I learned how to read there was nothing I could do. I would just sit up in bed and stare at the far wall, that nervous excitement welling up inside me like a tidal wave. Once it was seven o’clock we would have to wait a couple more minutes for everyone to wake up, and then our ceremony would begin.

We would walk slowly down the stairs, and then turn into the living room to see a room filled with presents, and then was when the nervous excitement broke, and it was all joy. Of course, no one dared speed up the pace, we would copy exactly what the adults were doing, as if we were afraid that the presents would disappear if we did anything out of line. We would whisper amongst ourselves as we creeped agonizingly slow towards the true glory of Christmas.

Once within five feet of the gifts, we could no longer resist. We would rush to the pile of presents that were ours and sit down. We would wait for the parents to open them. By the time we were sitting down the parents were still near the bottom of the stairs (it’s a wonder that people with such long legs have such a slow pace). Once they sat down they would call for Parker to open his presents first. That was the tradition in the family.

Being the oldest in the family I would have to wait the longest. When my turn finally came to open my presents, I was nearly bursting with excitement. Toys were being played with all around me, and I was ready to see what mine were. As usual, I would be filled with joy upon seeing anything that was mine and new, especially when it was on my list. I will always remember the savage joy that I got when tearing the ripping paper off a present. 

The toys (it never mattered what they really were) were always, in my opinion, the best part about Christmas. It was something about the magic and puzzlement of receiving presents from someone unknown to you. It could make you believe that you could have an abnormal life, and that there was something truly special in this world after all.

Christmas night was sometimes even more celebrated than Christmas Eve. There was lots of music, most of it boring, but some of it danceable, and the children would put away their toys and try in vain to socialize with the many vague relatives in the gathering. The adults would drink eggnog spiked with rum, and milk around trying to cover up the disappointments of the party’s turnout. After the party (and sometimes during) the children, including me, would be put to bed. I would lay on the pull out sofa (it was always a pullout sofa) and thank the magic, or whatever it was, for another satisfying Christmas. Then, slowly, my child’s mind would drift off to other topics and I would gradually fall asleep.

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Predictions for 2018

Many who have suffered through the last 12 months thought it was a pretty bad year but eventful nonetheless. Perhaps historic. But 2017 will be nothing when compared to 2018. Here are my predictions:

  • January. On January 2, Trump tweets that by executive order the capital of the United States will move from Washington, DC to Mar-a-Lago effective immediately. Republicans will be provided free room and board at the resort. Democrats will fend for themselves. The President states in his prepared remarks, “This is beautiful and incredible, and if I can change the capital of Israel, I surely can do it here!” Pence praises Trump as the greatest president to ever live. Nicki Haley announces the U.S. is pulling out of the U.N. and forming a new international body called the “United Alliance,” consisting of all of America’s allies and friends—Honduras, Guatemala, Togo, the Marshall Islands, Micronesia, Nauru, Palau, and Israel. She says all other nations are officially black listed. Trump praises Haley, saying the move is long overdue.

 

  • February. In a long-anticipated move, Trump orders the firing of Robert Mueller, who is removed from his office in handcuffs. Assistant Attorney General Rosenstein objects and is fired immediately and jailed. Trump appoints Roy Moore to replace Rosenstein, and Moore immediately cancels the FBI investigation stating, “There never was a spec of evidence showing the Russians had anything to do with U.S. elections. Period.” Pence applauds the move, tweeting that Trump is the greatest president to ever live. Moore is promoted to attorney general replacing Jeff Sessions, who is hospitalized following an opioid overdose. Trump appoints David Duke, Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, to replace Moore as Deputy Attorney General, stating in a nationally televised address that Duke has been misunderstood and actually represents “the true values of America, the best we have.”

 

  • March. Ginsburg retires from the Supreme Court. Trump nominates Moore, who is confirmed along party lines using the reconciliation process. David Duke is promoted to Attorney General to replace Moore. The stock market reaches one record high after another as the American public experiences the enormous tax savings to the middle class, about $200 a year average for those making under $60,000 a year. Pence tweets again that Trump is the greatest human being “to walk on the face of the Earth.”

 

  • April. Trump achieves what some have described as his only foreign policy achievement by swapping the Atlanta Hawks (record 8-25) professional basketball team for Kim-jon-Un’s entire nuclear arsenal. Tillerson is fired and replaced by Dennis Rodman as Secretary of State. In an unrelated move, Putin purchases the Charlotte Panthers from owner Jerry Richardson, who is forced to sell the team because of allegations of sexual misconduct. Putin announces he is building a   new football stadium in Moscow, which he is calling Trump Stadium in honor of “ his close friend, the American President.” Pence tweets that Trump is a man “with Messianic qualities.”

 

  • May. By executive order Trump declares that climate change is a hoax and that the EPA will be repositioned and rebranded as the “Environmental Production Agency.” All national parks will be sold immediately to corporations, which Trump says now have “money to burn because of so many beautiful and incredible tax savings.”

 

  • June. Trump proposes a bill, which passes along party lines declaring the New York Times, The Washington Post, CNN, MSNBC and the New Yorker as fake new organizations and orders that all fake news organizations be closed and reporters of fake news be jailed. Joe Scarborough is arrested immediately. The law is upheld by the Supreme Court as being constitutional, and Roy Moore, who cast the decisive vote, praises Trump as the greatest man to ever live. Pence calls a press conference to say he loves the President more than Roy Moore does.

 

  • July. With Trump’s support, Congress passes along party lines a “Total Entitlement Reform Act” which eliminates Medicaid, Social Security, the Affordable Care Act, and Medicare, and replaces them with a Trump Card. The act does not state what the Trump Card actually does. The CBO predicts that the act will eliminate the entire deficit in 25 years. Paul Ryan declares this the “greatest victory of all time” and immediately calls for more tax cuts to help the embattled one per centers, “who are unfairly stuck with footing the cost of government.” When Trump’s popularity sinks into the single digits, the President declares public opinion polls illegal and all opinion researchers are subject to arrest. Pence again weeps with joy in public when trying to express his love for the President.

 

  • August. Trump tweets that all DACA recipients will be arrested and jailed immediately and be relocated into what formerly were Trump luxury hotels in “heavily Democratic big cities and in hostile countries around the world where occupancy has fallen off.” Trump proudly tweets that the hotels have been repositioned and rebranded as “penal resorts” and that the DACAs will love living there. He also announces the completion of the Border Wall, which has been secretly under construction since January using forced labor from all of the United States’ friends and allies– Honduras, Togo, Guatemala, the Marshall Islands, Micronesia, Nauru, Palau and political prisoners from Israel. The cost to the U.S. tax payer is described by newly appointed press secretary, Nancy Moore (wife of Roy Moore), as zero.

 

  • September. Trump tweets that his policies have resulted in unemployment dropping to a “negative 10 percent,” which means that 110% percent of the American population willing and able to work are working in full time jobs.   The statistics are supplied by the new “Truth Agency,” created by the Trump Administration and criticized by Democrats as a “fake agency.” Trump tweets that this historically low unemployment is ” a beautiful, incredible success” and final proof that at long last he has made America truly great again. Elected and unelected rulers in Honduras, Togo, Guatemala, the Marshall Islands, Micronesia, Nauru, Palau and Israel express their congratulations. 

 

  • October.Trump unexpectedly resigns on the last day of the month. He has not been seen publicly for several weeks and tweets that since he has made America great again, there is nothing left to be done. He expresses confidence in his successor, Vice President Pence, who is sworn in at midnight. Trump immediately departs the capital of Mar-a-Lago on Air Force One with his family en route to Russia where he will reside in the new “Trump Palace” located next to the residence of Vladimir Putin.

 

  • November. Pence becomes President. In a address to the nation he states that it will be almost impossible to follow someone so great, so good and so “Messianic” but that he is up to the job. He tweets, “I am not a lackey. I am not a lackey. I am not a lackey. And also I am not a lap dog.” Congressional elections are completed, and despite Russian intervention, Democrats win enough seats in both the House and the Senate to retake control of Congress.

 

  • December-January. On New Year’s Eve fourteen #metoo women bring charges against Pence as a perpetual sex offender. Several days later he is forced to resign in disgrace, tweeting, “ I told you I was not a lackey.” The new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, is sworn in as President. The new Congress repeals all the laws and regulations passed by Congress under Trump and votes to rejoin the UN. The capital moves back to Washington. Fake News reporters are released from prison. “Morning Joe” comes back on the air. In Russia Trump reveals his tax returns, tweeting that he has become the richest man on the planet. Putin is number two. The New York Times, now back in business for the first time since June, notes that that the tax returns also show that the year before he was elected, Trump did not even make the richest 1,000 list.

 

So it is on to 2019….The NBA team, Korean Hawks, starts the year in first place in the NBA. The Democratic-controlled Congress appointments a special prosecutor, Robert Mueller, to investigate how Trump made so much money during his  18 months as President. Democrats breathe a long sigh of relief. Republicans swear to oppose everything. Life goes on….

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Christmas 2017

On the way to the Metro this week I passed by three homeless people sitting on the sidewalk in front of the stores in the Cleveland Park shopping district with hands outstretched. When I arrived at the Metro, over a dozen fire, police and emergency vehicles were parked around the station. Two firemen emerged with an empty stretcher when the elevator door opened. When asked about what was happening, one of them responded, “Somebody jumped in front of a train.” Someone standing behind me grumbled, “Seems to happen every Christmas season. Someone is all the time jumping in front of a train. Why always at rush hour?”

I have since learned that suicide is not more common over the Christmas season though for many it seems so. (Spring is actually the preferred season for suicides.) What is true, however, is that for a lot of people this is a down time, not a happy one. It is a time of depression, not joy. This is attributed to a number of factors—“Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD “ is often cited since Christmas is close to the shortest day of the year with the least amount of light. SAD affects a lot of people including me. The holiday also tends to exacerbate loneliness and isolation for people who have no family or few friends or places to go and celebrate. I noted this week a large, hand-drawn sign on a McDonalds, “Open All Day Christmas.” For many a Big Mac will be their Christmas dinner. For others Christmas is a time of stress. There is too much activity and too much going on– buying presents, preparing food, just trying to make it through. Christmas is, as they say, a mixed bag.

This is especially so for people brought up in the Christian faith but who no longer feel part of any church or religious group, for whom the story of Christmas no longer resonates, and who themselves may be having a tough time in life—a divorce, loss of a spouse, poor health, broken relationships, a lost job. The list is long.

I count myself among the fortunate. Almost every year, Embry and I have been able to celebrate Christmas with the families of both of our children and being together (this year  at the home of our son, Andrew and our daughter-in-law, Karen,  in Maplewood, NJ) is both special and spiritual. Watching our four grandchildren ages 8-12 interact is by itself “worth the price of admission.” There is usually a Christmas pageant, carols, and various games and stories. So for us it is a blessing. But still I can’t help thinking about those who are having their Big Mac by themselves on Christmas Day.

And where exactly does Christianity fit into the picture? If there is one religious celebration that is more secular than sacred, this is it. But does a secular Christmas mean necessarily that it is not religious? Can Christmas actually be a sacred day for people who do not go to church or who do not call themselves Christians? Actually, I believe the answer is yes. In my advanced age, more and more I tend to see our experience here on this planet as a shared human experience. We humans are all born and we all die. We have a pretty short time allotted to us to make the best of the hand we have been dealt. We are all trying to make sense out of our lives, why we are here, and what it all means. We do not always admit this, and often these questions lurk under the surface, but I believe asking these questions is part of what it means to be human.

And this is where religion fits in. It is one way we humans try to connect with something mysterious and profound that we experience rarely but enough to let us know that it is real. Religion is what gives us a pathway for affirming that this planet and this vast universe around us are not the result of random chance and without meaning but are here for a purpose. We call this purpose and this force behind it the Divine or more common, “God.” There is, I believe, one Divine, one God. I also believe that no religion has an exclusive connection to the Devine. One destination. Many pathways.

One of these pathways is the Christian faith. What the Christmas story is all about is this: That God is not inaccessible and unreachable but is right under our noses. It is not about making money, being famous, or powerful. The Devine in the Christmas story is expressed in the form of a baby born to a poor, unmarried woman in the humblest of circumstances. It is about sacrificial suffering and about love and living a life for others. Perhaps most of all at the time of the Christmas season, it is about hope in a world where people throw themselves in front of trains, and eat a Big Mac alone on Christmas Day.

 

 

 

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Lessons Learned From The Alabama and Virginia Elections

Are the Dems on a roll? Alabama and Virginia are quite different–Alabama a hard core, deep red state and Virginia purple, trending blue– but the results show some common trends, which are all good news for Democrats. Here are my takeaways:

  1. Yes, Trump is really bad, and a large majority of the country has pretty much figured it out. There is no question that a significant number of voters in both states (predominately women) cast their votes against what they see happening in the White House and in the Republican Party. The good news here is that people are realizing what a disaster the Republicans are creating. The word of caution is that registering a protest vote is not enough by itself to carry the Democrats to victory in 2018 or 2020. And it is also took a Roy Moore to move Alabama from red to (barely) blue. Democrats aren’t likely to get that lucky again.
  2. Besides the I’ve-had-enough vote, there were four things that in my view made a big difference:
  • In both states the Democrats ran a center-left candidate, without glamor or charisma, but with tangible decency. This I believe is really important in determining the kind of candidates that can win in purple and light red states and congressional districts.
  • In both states—but especially Alabama– turnout from African Americans and other minorities made a huge difference. As many African Americans voted in 2017 in Alabama as they did in 2008 and 2012 when Obama was on the ballot. In Virginia they also played a big role. Voter turnout of minorities is important—especially in states and districts where the minority population is high. Democrats had a strong get-out-the-vote effort in Alabama targeting black voters, and it worked.
  • We could well be entering what might be the political era of the woman. More women vote than men, and they are, frankly, more open minded, tolerant and repulsed by male chauvinism and sexual harassment (which unfortunately is not limited to Republicans). Many believe the #me too movement is ushering in a sea change. A huge percentage of women voted for Jones over Moore, including white women living in suburban neighborhoods that historically voted Republican. This also will be a factor in selecting candidates in 2018 and 2020. The number of women expressing an interest in running for office is skyrocketing.
  • The other key voting group are the Millennials, people born between (roughly) 1980 and 2000. They are now the largest voting cohort in U.S. elections and lean Democratic. Again voter turnout of this Demographic group will be extremely important in 2018.
  1. There has been much discussion over the revolt of the white working class in the 2016 presidential election. The results of the Virginia and Alabama elections suggest that the Democrats did not make any significant inroads with this voting block. In these two states, Trump’s hard core base seems to have stuck with the Republican candidate. What this shows is that the Democrats can win without this demographic group if the party nominates strong candidates not too far to the left, allowing Democrats to capture more of the huge suburban vote—especially moderate Republican woman voters and independents.

This does not mean that Democrats should write off the white working class vote . Democrats should have a message of reconciliation, job and wage growth and economic fairness and propose policies which benefit this group. The party does not have to and should not dumb down its message or pursue social policies which appeal more to them.

In summary, these two elections are reason for optimism for Democrats like me, but we have our work cut out for us. It is not clear how the tax act will fit into the picture, but I do not see how it can help the Republicans. The big takeaways from the two recent elections are strong, authentic candidates, not too far to the left, and voter turnout, voter turnout, and voter turnout.

 

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Taking Stock In The Season of Hope and Peace

In just over three months I will turn 76. That is a fairly long time for a human life on this small, blue planet. I have been blessed by so many things—a strong marriage to a strong woman, a loving family and inspiring children, four extraordinary grandchildren, great friends, pretty good health, a fulfilling career, and never having been in a situation where I have had to worry about having enough money to get by. I have been affirmed and supported by others. In short, though I have had my ups and downs like all us humans and have made my share of mistakes, I am deeply grateful and have nothing on a personal level worthy of even a whimper.

Yet I am worried.

I am worried because I feel in my bones that we as a nation and as a planet are entering a perilous time. Sure, we have been through tough times before— a civil war, two world wars, the threat of nuclear annihilation during the Cold War. Certainly we have a sordid history in the U.S. with slavery, Jim Crow, racial discrimination, and class and social inequities. Human suffering is as much a part of the human experience as is our living and breathing. Life has never been easy or fair.

But somehow the times we are in today seem different.

So here is what frightens me as we end 2017.

  1. We have a President totally unfit to lead us through the challenging times facing us. Much has been written about him, and many know the picture—borderline illiterate, questionable intelligence, incessant TV watcher addicted to right wing talk shows, narcissist, dictator tendencies, unstable, and possibly mentally ill. His main obsession appears to be to erase everything that could be considered an Obama legacy. I believe that he is far more dangerous than we can even contemplate.
  2. We are closer to a nuclear war right now than at any time since the Cuban Missile Crisis, and we do not have John Kennedy at the helm. We are told that North Korea probably has around 50 nuclear weapons, and we learned this week that Kim Jong-un is well along in developing chemical and biological weapons. He falls into the category of a Stalin, Hitler or Mao; and if he is pushed against a wall, many experts believe he will use the weapons he has. If he thinks he is going to be destroyed, he will take a lot of others down with him. He has nothing to lose. And here we are talking millions of “others.”

There was a very interesting piece in Sunday’s Washington Post about how a nuclear war could start by accident such as a South Korean commercial airplane accidently drifting into North Korean airspace and mistaken for a U.S. bomber. It would not be the first time that a major war started by accident or false information. Think World War I and Iraq War 2.

  1. The climate issue is a ticking, time bomb. The 2017 massive hurricanes and the California wild fires are just a taste of what is to come, we are told by experts. Just wait until we get a three foot rise in sea levels. There is some good news on this front as the world is waking up to this threat and beginning to take positive action. But not the U.S. Donald Trump and many of his advisors are climate change deniers and are rolling back the climate initiatives put in place under Obama.
  2. Unrest continues throughout the planet. As I write this, there are uprisings in Palestine and a terrorist bombing in New York City. War continues in the Middle East. We have made progress fighting ISIS, but trouble still simmers.
  3. Our country is more divided than at any time since the beginning of the Civil War. Virtually no major legislation passes on a bipartisan basis, and the two political parties agree on very little. You hear “man on the street” interviews bemoaning that both parties are equally to blame. Being a loyal Democrat and committed progressive, I disagree. But some would say that I am just another example of the problem.
  4. Huge domestic issues face the U.S. We have decaying infrastructure. Public schools and public education are struggling. For many housing is unaffordable, and we are just about to see 13 million people lose health insurance. When the tax bill becomes law, we are likely to see the income disparities increase with the rich getting richer and the poor poorer. Racial inequities continue, and hardly a week goes by when you don’t read about a white cop shooting an unarmed black man—often a teenager. Confidence in public institutions is at an all time low, and major institutions like mainline Protestant churches are on the decline.

 

This is why I am fearful. (And you could probably add a number of other fearful things to the list.) I am not so fearful for myself as for my children and my grandchildren. Our generation is leaving them with a ton of challenges.

But I do not totally despair and to a certain extent I am hopeful. Younger people seem to get it and are more likely to address these issues better than my generation has done. And I keep reminding myself, we actually have made extraordinary progress on some issues—especially on issues related to sexuality. Embry and I attended a gay wedding last week and it seemed as routine and natural and joyful as any conventional wedding ever was. This would surely not have been the case a decade ago. The “Silence Breakers” and “#metoo” movement is a long overdue happening and could be a sea change in the U.S. and even world culture. Despite resistance from the Trump Administration and die-hards, U.S. culture is becoming more diverse and inclusive. And we did elect an African American President not too long ago, and he turned out to be one of our best presidents ever. Good people are on the front lines working on improving education, health care, affordable housing and are helping people in so many ways. 

On the whole we are a generous nation. Also our country is remarkably resilient. We continue to lead the world in technology and innovation.

The pendulum swings back and forth. We are in a dark time now. We will come out of it. I certainly hope and pray that that will be the case. But it won’t happen in a vacuum. Each of us has a responsibility to do what we can in our own way to make the world a safer and better place. The stakes have never been higher.

So this is my take on where we stand as we enter the season of peace and hope when we Christians celebrate the birth of Christ.

The future is very scary, but this is also a time for hope and for action. I thank God for all my blessings and pray for us humans and for our small at-risk planet.

 

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FAUX NEWS EXCLUSIVE: The Deficit Hawks Return

The following meeting occurred in a conference room in the U.S. Capitol on Monday, December 4. One of our reporters was there, disguised as a waiter, and here is his story.

By-invitation-only, a celebratory reception took place on Monday in the U.S. Capitol  where several dozen Republican members of Congress were present. Even though the conference committee has not come out with a bill to reconcile the House and Senate versions of the tax “reform” act, there was euphoria among those present, which included Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell and others in leadership positions. Following congratulatory remarks and toasts to the President for what was described as his inspiring leadership and the fine moral example he is setting for the country, the world, and our nation’s children, the conversation focused on the tax reform victory and the next steps.

Here is a verbatim transcript secretly taken by our reporter:

 

Mr Ryan: Well we did it, Mitch, we showed ‘em. At last tax relief for those who contribute so much to our economy and have suffered so much under Obama.

Mr. McConnell: You are right, Paul. The Fake Press gives the one percenters a hard time, but let’s face it, were it not for them, we would not be the country we are today. They are the job creators. They make our country great. They pay so much in taxes, and it is a shame and disgrace that almost half the U.S. tax payers get off with paying little or nothing. This is a national scandal, and the bill, when it becomes law, will start to level that playing field.

Mr. Graham: And let’s be honest. If we could not deliver, our party would be toast. The Koch Brothers would be pulling out, and we would lose most of our big donors. We delivered for them, and the payoff to us will be beyond anything we have ever dreamed of. We should have so much more money than the Democrats, we will dominate the Congress  from now on. The Democrats won’t have a chance.

Cheers from those gathered.

Ms. Collins: You are right, gentlemen, but do you think the bill when it is reconciled will do much for the poor, the working class, and those less fortunate?

Mr. McConnell: Suzie, you just don’t get it, do you? Trump’s base will vote for him under any conditions. He could kill someone on Fifth Avenue like he said and they would not change. They love him. They love his tweets, and he is the darling of the Evangelical Christians. Many see him as the Second Jesus Christ. First, they are too dumb to know that they are being screwed, and, second, as long as Trump keeps fighting Muslims, immigrants, minorities and bleeding heart Democrats they will be just fine. As for the others? So what? In the end the poor, the working class and the less fortunate mean diddly.

Ms. Collins: Even if they lose their health care?

Mr. Ryan: Enough of that. Now that we have been victorious we must move on to our next agenda item—fiscal responsibility. As I have said all along throughout my entire career: the deficit is killing us and that the number one goal of the Republican Party, the party of prudence, is to get our house in financial order.

Mr. Corker: How can we claim to be the responsible party when we just added what is likely to be two trillion dollars to the deficit?

Mr. McConnell: Who let Corker into the room?

Mr Corker is forcefully removed by security guards.

Mr. Ryan: So I am proud to announce the plan that many of us have been working on in secret while the tax reform bill was being written. “The Fiscal Responsibility Act To Make America Fair Again.” Mitch, why don’t you introduce the committee report?

Mr. McConnell: We Republicans all agree that there should not be any deficits, and to prevent that from happening we are going to repeal virtually all the giveaway programs, which started in the New Deal and have been growing by leaps and bounds every time we get a Democrat in the White House. This will be like the tax reform we have just completed. Just like our beloved president and moral leader has said, it will be big and beautiful and incredible. In a word, we will phase out Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, all forms of welfare, Housing Vouchers, food stamps, child heath care and virtually all other subsidies aimed at helping people who do not want to help themselves. These people tend to be lazy, have no ambition and frankly it is about time they have to be made to fend for themselves rather than beg for government handouts. It is about time that that they learn that being irresponsible has consequences.

Ms. Collins: That sounds cruel to me.

Mr. Ryan: Don’t worry, Suzie, we won’t pitch it that way. We won’t say anything bad about these pathetic, working stiffs who can’t make it on their own. The case we will make is that while we love everybody, we just can’t afford to keep paying out all this money and that we must maintain our legacy as the party of fiscal responsibility. We have to do it for the sake of the country. If we don’t get our financial house in order we will no longer be great as a country. The President we so love and respect so much has said this better than anyone—Make America Great Again!

Cheers throughout the room.

Mr. Ryan: This is not the time to go into details on how the phase out will work, but the basic idea is to replace virtually all government handout programs with individual savings accounts for health care, retirement, education, food and nutrition, you name it. The Democrats will be pitching Medicare-for-All. Our mantra will be 401Ks-for-all.

Mr. Flake: Do you think this will resonate with the middle class?

Mr. McConnell: Who let Flake in?

Mr. Flake is forcefully removed by security guards.

Mr. McCain: Certainly you guys can’t be serious.

Mr. Ryan: Not only are we serious, we are virtually guaranteed success. Remember who will have all the campaign money. We will, and we will use it wisely. With the Big Boys behind us even more than in the past, we will control Congress and the White House forever as far as I can tell.

Unidentified Senator from the back of the room: And if we need it, we will get all the extra help from the Russians!

Senator is forcefully removed, screaming “lock her up, lock her up.” Reception  is concluded with cheers and applause.

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