Much has been made of the significance of the white working class vote in the 2016 presidential election. Since the New Deal the Democrats have been able to rely on this voting block—especially in the Industrial Midwest. Up to Election Day it still appeared that Hillary would carry their vote in Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio and Pennsylvania as Obama and practically every other Democratic presidential candidate had done. The vote was close, but close is not a win; and though there are a whole lot of other reasons why Trump won, the failure to deliver this voting block is listed at or near the top by most pundits.

So Democrats are now dealing with what happened and why. How do we respond going forward? Do we write these folks off as a lost cause or do we try to change our message and our tactics to reclaim them and bring them back into the fold? My belief is that we lost the traditional-Democratic, white, working class vote for a lot of understandable reasons, that it would be wrong to write them off, and that we can get them back. Here is my take on what happened and what we can do about it.

Who Are “Those People”?

The white, working class population is actually quite diverse depending on what part of the country they are from, their religion, what kind of jobs and education they have, and how they feel about the issue of race. I wrote a book called Hard Living on Clay Street , published in 1973 and still in print today, (with a new 2017 edition with an endorsement by Joan Williams on the cover, “Want to understand why Trump won the election? Read this book.”). The blue collar families I wrote about were largely rural migrants to the Washington, DC, area, fiercely independent, and somewhat alienated from main stream politics. They struggled with making ends meet, alcohol addiction, various health issues, personal relationships, and simply getting by in an increasingly complex world. They were also proud, brutally honest and aware that the deck was pretty much stacked against them. Though they lacked much, if any, education beyond high school, they were smart, had good survival skills, and were remarkably resilient. Though race was clearly an issue, I would not call them racists per se. As the saying goes, they were nuanced.

There is no doubt in my mind that almost everyone we got to know well, if they were still alive today (and no one is), would have voted for Trump in 2016. The reason is simple. They would be sending a message that they were not happy with how their lives were going and knew the hand they had been dealt was weak. The Clay Street people worked mainly in construction and service jobs, but the life struggles they encountered were not all that different from what the workers in the Industrial Midwest and in a lot of other places are encountering now. Vast numbers of traditional Democratic, blue collar voters have lost stable, good paying factory jobs. Besides losing jobs that provided security, many lost their homes in the meltdown of the Great Recession. Some lost their health insurance and other benefits like pensions. The replacement jobs they have now, if they are lucky, pay half of what they were getting before with few of the benefits. The stress associated with seeing your life savings disappear and your life style affected so profoundly took its toll on many, resulting in family dissolution, domestic violence and declining physical health. These factors contributed to the opioid epidemic and the needless loss of lives of loved ones. No wonder they were and are angry! What would you expect? This anger, plus the fact that labor unions no longer seem to be able to do anything to help level the playing field, are more than enough reasons for people in their situation to try something new and different—in this case, to vote for an anti establishment, tough guy who promised to turn Washington upside down and bring back the imagined, good old days when America was great. A whole bunch of these people who voted for Trump in the general election voted for Obama in 2008 and 2012 and for Bernie in the primaries. In other words in 2016 it was a stick-it-to-the-establishment statement and faith in a Hail Mary pass that a maverick outsider could really make a difference.

To his credit, Trump sensed the mood and milked it for all that it was worth. His mantra was jobs, jobs, jobs. The message was also tinged with racism and nativism. He is still doing this today as he tweets red meat to his base. We Democrats missed it. We took the normally reliable, white, working class vote for granted. We continued playing the identity politics game, focusing on many important issues such as the environment, immigration reform, civil rights, women’s rights, the right to choose, LGBT issues, and responsible foreign policy. But these issues did not resonate with the guy who lost his good paying job three years ago, lost his house to foreclosure, his wife to divorce, and his son to an opioid overdose.

In addition we had a Democratic candidate who was the personification of the establishment. While she had the right ideas appealing to many traditional Democratic voters like me and had carefully thought-out policy recommendations, she did not appeal to the people who felt they were being left behind and being pushed aside in favor of other racial and ethnic groups and immigrants. As far as many blue collar voters were concerned, under Hillary it would be more of the same. That was a non-starter.

So that is how we got Trump.

But keep this in mind: Hillary still won the general popular vote. And while she lost the vote in the key industrial states, it was very close. And we are learning more almost daily of Russian meddling in critical precincts. Maybe if we had put more time and money into these states and focused our message on what was motivating the traditional, Democratic-leaning, white, working class voter, the outcome would have been different. But that is water under the bridge.

Where To Go From Here

There are five things we Democrats need to do to recapture the white, working class vote that we failed to get in the 2016 election. We must change our attitude and how we look at “those people.” We must offer a message of hope and credibly demonstrate that we can deliver on it. We must vigorously and unrelentingly expose the sham and bait-and-switch policies of the Trump Administration. We must put money into the effort and boots on the ground in a grass roots effort to get our message across and get folks to the polls. And, finally, at every level we must recruit and select good, electable candidates that have empathy, vision, and charisma.

1. Changing our attitude. Sadly, the attitude that many of my highly educated, professional friends have toward the Trump base is not all that different from the racist attitudes that some of my friends had toward blacks where I grew up in the South. I have heard the term “white trash” used more than once to describe the Trump base. We tend to assume they are all racists, “low life,” stupid, and mean people. “Deplorables” is one word that will live on in the history books even though when taken in context it was not anti working class. We Democrats tend throw up our hands in disgust, wondering how “those people” could be so wrong-headed and naïve as to vote for a scoundrel, narcissist billionaire. Our tendency is to write them all off as hopeless.

Certainly it is true that there are racists and mean people in Trump’s working class base just as there are racists and mean people at all levels of society. There are also many in the white, working class who would never vote for a Democrat under any circumstances. But to lump everyone in the Trump base into the hopeless category as many of us Democrats have tended to do is a huge mistake. In my experience on Clay Street, the people whom I got to know had many of the rough edges and mannerisms of “those people.” They used the N word. They distrusted government at all levels. They distrusted the church and most institutions. They were especially wary of elites, who “thought they were better than everyone else.” Some felt like outlaws—and even relished the term as a badge of honor.

But at the same time they worked along side black people, many of whom they considered friends. They were kind to family, friends and neighbors and extraordinarily welcoming and generous to me and Embry—who were outsiders and “egg heads working on some dumb government study.” They faced harder times just getting by than I could ever have imagined. Yet they stoically took their knocks and hung on to a personal sense of self worth and pride. In a word, they were real people just like you and me. The message to Democrats and “the elite”: treat them with respect that they deserve.

Could these people, who surely would have been Trump voters in 2016, vote for a Democrat for governor or senator in 2018 or a president in 2020? Absolutely. They do not have strong party loyalties. They are not hard line conservatives or right-wingers or belong to groups who never vote Democratic. They are not hard-core racists. They will vote for candidates who speak to them, who take them seriously, and whom they can relate to.

2. Getting the message right. There are a host of important issues in politics today. Hillary’s playbook included all of them and her positions were solid. Democrats do not have to back off from supporting civil rights, immigration reform, the right to choose, saving the environment, affordable health care, and better income equality. We do not have to make compromises regarding what we believe. What we have to do is frame those messages in a way that the benefits are seen as universal benefits to all Americans, not just a privileged few or a special interest group. We must present a compelling message of hope, and we have to show how this message will benefit the white, working class. We have to understand what issues concern them and what they care about. I assume that focus groups must be going on right now in all the key, blue collar areas where we were out performed. If this is not happening, shame on us.

 3. Exposing Trump for what he is. It is true that if the only unifying thing we Democrats have in common is our hate for Trump and all he stands for, that is not enough to win people over who voted for Trump. That does not mean that we should stand by and ignore the disaster that is unfolding before our eyes. At the same time that we are offering a positive message of hope, we cannot let people forget just how bad this bait-and-switch president is. This is especially important in reaching the blue collar voter. They have been duped, sold a bill of goods, taken to the cleaners. Massive tax breaks for the superrich, drastic cuts to the social and health care safety nets, and opposing raising the minimum wage all hurt the white working class. Trump has drunk the extremist, libertarian cool-aid on practically every issue. He is a sham. We cannot let up on aggressively broadcasting this message—especially to those blue collar voters who were expecting the higher paying jobs to miraculously reappear.

4. Putting boots on the ground. The Democrats just didn’t lose the presidency to somebody many believe is the worst person for the job in U.S. history. For the past decade we have been losing at all levels of government. In short the Republicans have outfoxed us. When Obama was elected in 2008, they panicked and set in place a strategy to “take the country back” by spending money big time and working at the grass roots level to get their candidates elected—most of them hard-liners. Funded mostly by billionaire libertarians like the Koch brothers, Richard Mellon Scaife, John Olin and the Bradley bothers—and enabled by the Supreme Court’s decision in Citizens United— they have essentially stolen our democracy. It is time to take it back. (Read Dark Money by Jane Mayer.) Democrats need to think and act locally to get people involved and excited about fighting the Trump agenda and redirecting the country. This is especially important in the traditional, Democratic-leaning, blue collar, voting districts. We need organizers and we need help from labor unions, from college students, young people and anywhere we can get it. We need boots on the ground.

 

5. Finding the right candidates and getting them elected. The blue collar families I got to know on Clay Street were drawn much more to the personalities of people running for office than in policy positions or voting records. The biggest turnoff for people like the ones I knew on Clay Street was elitism. They seemed to have an uncanny sense about whether a person was on their side or looking down on them from a pedestal. It is true that Trump got away with this. That he never had anything to do with government and that he was so outrageous and angry probably helped. However, it is becoming increasingly apparent –even to some in his base–that he is a fraud. That will help. But we need viable alternatives. We need to find electable candidates who are willing to run at all levels, who genuinely care about the white working class, who are approachable and empathetic, and who are fighters for what is right and what they believe in.

 

The good news is that the Democratic Party seems to have figured most of this out. The leadership is working on a new message focusing on jobs and the economy, seems to understand that grass roots organizing is now a priority and already has solicited a large number of good candidates at various levels. My hope is that we will also listen better to what the white, working class is telling us and address their needs better than we have done in the past.

 

Who knows what the future will hold? We do not yet know how the Mueller investigation will turn out or what will happen with the various international crises underway.

 

What we do know is that the country is in crisis. The only way out of it is to change the cast of characters who got us into this mess and who are unable to get us out of it. This will take time, money and effort. Using “dark money” and clever tactics, Republicans got the ship of state to change direction. The result has been a disaster. Democrats must now rise to the challenge and beat them at their own game of organizing at the grass roots level. Regaining the trust of the white, working class is part of the answer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Several months ago Embry suggested that instead of traveling on our own like we did in 2015 on our trip-around-the-world-without flying or our 2016 road trip out West and back in 2016, we should do an easy, on-the-bus tour with a group. She had identified a good one, a Roads Scholar tour of Japan. We would be part of a group of seniors our age, which would virtually guarantee a pleasant, low stress trip. It sounded like a good idea to me as I envisioned a bunch of gray and white haired people some with canes and walkers. Even with my bum knee I would surely stand out as a paragon of physical fitness.

This is a story of how this trip began and what it was like.

The first leg of the journey—a flight to San Francisco (where we would spend four days staying with old friends) got off to a shaky start and was a reminder why we elected to avoid airplanes when making our around-the-world journey in 2015. Arriving at 8:30 AM at Dulles Airport in plenty of time to check in at Virgin America Airlines (the cheapest ticket Embry could find), we were informed that our flight had been cancelled. When Embry complained that we had not been notified in advance, the attendant, a 40-something man with a scowl, mumbled that it had just been cancelled a couple of minutes ago for reasons unknown. He said he could rebook us on a Virgin America Flight from Reagan National Airport leaving at 6:00 PM and arriving at San Francisco at midnight.

Not acceptable, we replied.

What transpired over the next two hours was a seemingly futile effort to rebook on another airline. The scowling Virgin America guy informed us that it was Travelosity’s responsibility since Embry purchased the tickets from their website. The encounter with Virgin America ended with the attendant snarling, “Don’t raise your voice at me, Lady!” We gave up and retreated to the quietest corner we could find to begin the ordeal with Travelosity. I checked the time. It was 9:05. At 10:30 she was still on the phone.

The phone call between Embry and Virgin started like this from Embry’s end:

“No, leaving from National Airport at six and arriving in San Francisco at midnight will not work. We already told Virgin America that.

What do you mean that is the only option and take it or leave it?

No, it is not our responsibility, it is yours. You sold us the tickets.”

This dialogue continued for about 30 minutes with no apparent progress. When Embry realized her cell phone was running out of power, we rushed to find a electrical outlet for the charger. I spotted an outlet near a line of unused wheel chairs. I rolled two wheelchairs over to the electrical outlet so we could sit down and continue the ordeal. Embry directed me to try to find some coffee and something to eat, which I did, returning a half hour later with two cups of coffee and two banana nut muffins. By this time Embry was on her second supervisor, but her tone was less exasperated. Miraculously Travelosity had been able to book us on a noon American flight from Dulles with a change of airplanes in Charlotte. We breathed a sigh of relief.

We immediately rushed over to the American Airline counter and after waiting in line for a few minutes, began the procedure of getting our boarding passes.

After spending several minutes on her computer, a mid 30s, frazzled woman announced with authority, “You’re not going on this flight. There is no record of it in our system. You will have to start over with Travelosity. Besides American does not do business with Virgin America. There is nothing we can do for you. Period. Now I have other customers to deal with…”

When we refused to budge, she frowned, excused herself and returned with her supervisor who I suppose she assumed would support her case and get rid of us. It took the supervisor about two minutes to determine that our reservations actually were in the system and that we should be issued boarding passes. After protesting, the attendant reluctantly printed out the boarding passes, never once hinting at an apology. We took them and charged off to the security line.

We had an hour to make the connection in Charlotte and were a bit dismayed when the pilot came on to announce that because of an equipment issue the takeoff would be delayed indefinitely. False alarm: whatever the problem was got fixed in about 20 minutes, and we were on our way. We made it to Charlotte with time to spare, but when our time came to board, we were told to go back to our seats because the boarding process was on hold. The attendant announced they were in the process of trying to find someone to fly the airplane.

I imagined a bunch of harried American Airline executives running up and down the terminal frantically asking, “Can you fly a plane? Can you fly a plane?”

In about an hour, a plump, balding middle age guy wearing an American Airline uniform pushed his way through the anxious passengers bunched around the counter and started signing a bunch of papers. Someone in the line commented, “Well, it looks like they found a pilot. Hope he knows what he is doing.”

Boarding resumed and we were on our way, arriving in San Francisco at 7:35, almost eight hours behind the original arrival time. Thus began the first leg of the journey to Japan.

I wondered at the time if this ominous start might be a harbinger of things to come.

Leg 2

The flight from San Francisco to Tokyo was uneventful and about as stress free as you can get since Embry had used frequent flyer miles to upgrade to business class on ANA, a top Japanese airline. The only glitch was that I boarded the plane healthy; and when we landed 10 hours later, I felt like the walking dead—fever, sore throat, runny nose and a hacking cough. I don’t know how I looked, but the customs attendant at the Tokyo immigration gate took one look at me, excused herself and returned wearing a surgical mask. I would just have to take it a step at a time and deal with it as best I could. Thank heavens, I said to myself, I can just sit on the bus, watch the views and take in a temple or shrine when I feel like it.

The other thing I would have to deal with was my knee. For over a year I have been suffering though a cartilage issue but have not had surgery because apparently Kaiser Permanente has some sort of protocol that puts off any surgery until the pain is unbearable . “Yep, “ the orthopedic doctor said upon looking at the X-rays, you need a knee replacement but you aren’t going to get one here!” I shrugged my shoulders, mildly protested and eventually tried a stem cell treatment from another provider, which alas does not seem to be producing miraculous results. Bottom line: walking would be limited anyway; so I figured, no problem.

The knee issue moved to the front burner during our three day stay in San Francisco when I noticed that it was extremely swollen and to be safe probably should be drained before leaving the U.S. I went to the closest Kaiser outpatient office and persuaded them to see me without an appointment. The doctor—a sports medicine physician—knew his stuff, performed the procedure and told me I should badger Kaiser in DC about the knee replacement. The stem cell stuff he said was a big fraud. His final words were, “You are good to go, no walking or knee exercise for at least five days and go easy for ten.

“No problem,” I replied, “This is a geezer tour. There will be people with walkers and wheelchairs. I am planning to mostly just sit in the bus anyway.”

Our plane to Tokyo landed on time and waiting to get our bags we bumped to our traveling companions from Seattle, Rick (Embry’s first cousin) and his wife, Karen. We had traveled with them to India, Southeast Asia and sailed with them in Tahiti and they are almost like brothers and sisters. Also joining us would be Rick’s sister, Meimei, and her husband, Neil, from outside San Francisco. Suffering from jet lag and lack of sleep, we staggered together to find the rendezvous point where we would meet our fellow travelers, hop on the bus, and be whisked to our hotel. I could not wait to collapse in a soft bed.

We were soon to experience our first surprise.

Leg 3

Tokyo is a city of some 38 million people, the largest in the world. You can imagine the size of the airport—a vast terminal, with masses of people, mainly Asians, scurrying about in every direction. All we knew was that we were to meet our Road Scholar group at 4:oo pm in Terminal 1, South Wing, near the information center. Getting through customs took a bit longer than expected so when we finally dragged ourselves to the South Wing and spotted the information center, we were about five minutes late. I figured it would not be hard to find a group of 20 or so American old folks standing around in a fog after spending 12 hours on a plane. By this time my cold was in full force and it was about all I could do to keep standing. All I could think about was the soft bed.

Where were they? Thousands of people were running this way and that but no herd of old codgers.

We wandered over to the information booth and asked if they had seen any Americans like us hanging around, and the attendant replied that there had been a group there a few minutes ago. Embry had a cell phone number to call, dug into her backpack to find her phone and got through to the person who was our leader. After a short conversation she hung up with a shocked expression on her face and reported back that since we were late, we were on our own. The tour leader said it would be easy to get to our hotel, just take the number 4 train to Tokyo.

“That’s it?” I exclaimed, “They leave us here because we are five minutes late and the only advice is to take a number 4 train? You have got to be kidding!”

Rick and Karen were as baffled as me.

You can picture the situation. All four of us were disoriented and exhausted. Due to my cold, I now had one foot in the grave. It was 4:30 in the afternoon—the beginning of the evening rush hour in the world’s largest and most congested city, and we had no idea where the number 4 train was or the address of our hotel. We were lugging huge suitcases weighing what seemed like thousands of pounds each. Furthermore I was under strict orders from my doctor to avoid any strenuous walking for a week. Trying to process all this I felt a panic attack coming on.

Taking it all in stride Embry scurried off and returned a few minutes later with good news: She had directions to where to catch the Number 4 train and it was not that far away. Furthermore she had even purchased the tickets.

So began our introduction to Japan.

Actually finding the location for the Number 4 train turned out to be somewhat harder than we were led to believe—with a few failed attempts to find the right turnstile– and it required walking underground, hobbling in my case– for something like a half mile, but it could have been much worse. We finally made it to the station area and managed to board the train around five o’clock. Because the train originated at the airport we were able to find seats and a place to store the baggage. I collapsed in my seat contemplating our next move, finding the hotel.

We were told the ride into the center of the city would be about an hour and that we should hop off at the second stop, the main station, called “JR.” We did have the name of the hotel, but no address. But we had a small map showing the hotel to be only a couple of blocks from the station. None of the streets was named on the map; but even if they had been, we would not have been able to figure out the Japanese writing. I figured we would exit the station and try to find someone who could speak English. Since the hotel was so close, they would probably know where it was.

The doors opened and we found ourselves in the middle of the world’s largest beehive. We were in Tokyo’s largest train station where the trains and subways all come together. This was the peak of rush hour. I have never seen so many people walking so fast in so many directions in such a vast space. Combine Penn

Station and Grand Central in New York City and you still would not be close.

For a brief moment we stood silently marveling at what was going on around us, wondering which way to go. Just getting out of this place was going to be a challenge. We aimlessly took the path of least resistance allowing the flow of people to push us along to a larger space where there was room to pause and try to get our bearings. Standing in the middle of the gigantic room and puzzling over the map with skimpy information, we must have looked pretty pathetic; and it was not long before a police officer tapped me on the shoulder and in pretty good English asked how he could help. I showed him the map, and he kindly pointed us in the direction of the North Exit. Only then did I begin to realize how big the station was. The North Exit had to be close to a mile away. We set off with renewed determination and a half hour later managed to stumble out onto the street level where we found even more people charging in every which direction. Rolling the suitcases along the crowded sidewalks was close to impossible, but we had no choice.

We had to be close to the hotel, but where was it? Certainly someone must know about it. So we began stopping people, asking if they spoke English—not that many did—and if they knew where the hotel was. The response was always the same. The helpers scrutinized the map, looked around at the crowded streets and sidewalks and shrugged their shoulders. Finally a young woman took a special interest in us and after admitting defeat in finding the hotel, had the brilliant idea of calling the telephone number on our information packet. Two minutes later a young man wearing a hotel uniform appeared and led us to our destination. It was only a few hundred feet away, and we must have passed by it several times. The sign out front was in both English and Japanese but was tiny and easy to miss. The hotel was also quite small, under 100 rooms. My question at the time was how could the Road Scholar people possibly think it would be easy for us to get from the airport to the hotel on our own.

The hotel was modern and chic with a restaurant and bar. The room, however, was on the small side with barely enough room to squeeze between two twin beds. In fact I believe it was the smallest hotel room I have ever stayed in. I immediately collapsed into one of the beds, where I would remain for another 24 hours in a desperate attempt to avert a total physical meltdown as Embry hurried off to the orientation session followed by a welcome dinner. When she returned a few hours later, I managed to wake up enough to hear her describe our group of 19 senior travelers as relatively young, spirited and very experienced in international travel.

The full day of rest for me was what I needed to get me more or less back on my feet, and I was able to join the group on the second day for our bus tour of Tokyo—except for one small detail. There was no bus, and this was no get-on-the-bus-tour. This was a walking and public transportation tour, described in the Road Scholar promotional materials, which we had failed to read, as “strenuous,” averaging about 3.5 miles a day on foot. The name of the company running the tour was “Walk Japan.” How did we miss this? Embry later confessed that since it was a tour for a bunch of old folks, she figured it had to be easy.

Now there were times not that long ago when I would have welcomed this kind of adventure. For 25 years I was a dedicated runner and for another 25 years a serious power-walker, logging in between 15 and 20 miles a week. But for the past two years it has been a different story with my bad knee causing me to cut out all serious walking and switching to lap swimming. How was I going to manage? And the words of the Kaiser doctor in San Francisco were fresh in my mind: “Stay off the knee for at least a week.”

Oh ,well, I thought, how much damage can I do to the knee anyway? Maybe at least I will qualify for a knee replacement when we get home.

So at eight in the morning I was standing with our group still coughing, sniffling, and a bit dreary eyed as we began Day 2 in Tokyo. Having gone on Day 1, Embry had alerted me that it might be a bit of a challenge.

We had two somewhat unique guides. The leader was a 30-something Japanese woman who actually had been born in the U.S. but raised in Japan. She returned to the U.S. for college (SUNY Buffalo) and masters in Environmental Policy (Duke) and spoke totally fluent English. The “color commentator” was a 72-year-old, former Catholic priest (now married with adult children) with a bushy mustache from the Midwest who had worked and lived in Japan for over a dozen years serving in the Catholic Church in Kyoto and later working in business in Tokyo. As far as I could tell he was as good speaking Japanese as his tour partner was speaking English.

Off we went.

The first leg involved negotiating the Tokyo subway system en route to the Tokyo fish market. This procedure involved herding 19 old folks on and off several trains at the height of the morning rush hour. It also involved charging up and down several steep staircases. Our leader carried a yellow flower and led the charge. Her partner was the sweeper. How they kept us all together involved considerable skill and focus. Naturally I was last as I hobbled along with my walking sticks. The sweeper was close behind barking out, “Stay to the left, faster, faster, keep up, keep up, quick and the dead. Quick and the dead.” I was probably the only one on the tour who understood the meaning of the ‘Quick and the dead,” which was taken from an old English translation of the Apostles Creed “[Jesus] will come again to judge the quick and the dead.” Put it this way: it put the fear of God in you. The very thought of being left behind in the Tokyo subway was enough to keep me going at all costs.

We emerged from several subway stations to see a few shrines, temples and a fish market at various locations, but frankly all I can remember is the white tile in the subway stations, the packed trains and endless staircases. At one point I thought I had seen a mirage—an escalator. But it was not a mirage. It was real and directly in front of us. Our leader charged up the staircase next to the escalator, leading about half of our group. I stared at them in disbelief and stumbled toward the escalator with a few other stragglers, saying a prayer of thanksgiving and making a mental note of the physical conditioning of certain members of the tour.

So the question running through my mind in the middle of the second day when I hailed a cab to return to the hotel and left the tour group so they could scale more stairways and enter more tunnels was this: how am going to survive two weeks of this. Of course, this was hardly our first trip abroad as anyone knows who has followed my blog on the trip-around-the-world-without-flying in 2015 and the road trip out West in 2016. Between the two of us we have visited or worked in something like 50 countries, many of them developing nations. We have done harder trips than this, I kept telling myself. But still….

Subsequent Legs

It is true that we are blessed that the human mind has the capacity to downplay the painful moments in life and remember the good ones. Embry pointed this out, observing that were it not for this fact, no woman would ever have a second child.

As I reflect on the Japan adventure a month later, I have to admit that all things considered, it was a good trip. The Tokyo ordeal was by far the most challenging and only lasted two days. On the third day we departed on the bullet train to a tiny village in the mountains where we spent two days in a delightful, traditional Japanese inn with an onsen—the name for the traditional, communal hot bath. By this time Embry had come down with my cold, but I was on the mend, and within a week we were both almost back to normal. My knee situation was not great but was manageable. I am sure the cortisone injection I received in San Francisco helped a great deal. The hiking sticks I brought with me also made a difference.

The tour took us to Kyoto, Hiroshima, Nagasaki, several rural villages, and ended at Fukuoka. We stayed an extra two days so Embry could give a lecture on the U.S. health care system at Kumamoto University. One unusual aspect of the tour protocol was that we were not allowed to bring our large suitcases with us because since Japanese trains pause only for a minute or so at each stop, it would be impossible to get 21 people with big suitcases off the train before the doors closed. The solution was to send via the Japanese equivalent of UPS the big suitcases to the stop after the immediate next stop and take what we needed with us for the next day in a backpack. That actually seemed to work pretty well and eliminated the ordeal of trying to lift a 50-pound suitcase up to an overhead storage rack.

Here are the highlights:

• The beauty of Japan. Embry and I have been to a lot of countries and would describe Japan at or near the top in terms of beauty. I had spent an entire summer in Japan in 1962 traveling with American students and working on a farm in the Japanese Alps. I remember from that experience the beauty of the towering mountains, the sparkling sea and the quaint, small villages. Some 55 years later, the beauty remains. Just about every square foot of space that is flat is occupied by a road or building or rice patty. The cities are big—especially Tokyo—and congested; but they are pristine compared to ours. The only trash I spotted on the streets or sidewalks was one short piece of thread and a scrap of paper. I saw only one small patch of graffiti, which was on a building scheduled to be demolished. Nothing compares to our low income or working class neighborhoods.

 

• The politeness and efficiency of Japanese culture. What is it about these Japanese? The bow to each other all the time. They speak softly. They always take off their shoes when entering a private residence or a religious building. They dress conservatively. They are friendly to tourists and are all the time apologizing. The cab drivers will not accept tips nor will anyone else. It is considered dishonorable. The prices are what they say they are with no add-on for sales taxes. No one asks for a handout. No one tries to sell you anything. Baths (and fancy toilets) are a big thing, and you get the idea that they are the cleanest people on earth. Subways run on time. Trains run on time. Buses run on time. Drivers always stop for pedestrians in crosswalks, and people quietly line up to get on trains. Courtesy prevails. What is wrong with them? Don’t they understand that life is a conflict and the law of the survival of the fittest prevails?

And where are all the fat people? We surely did not see many. And why do they seem to walk everywhere?And guns? There were a total of six gun deaths in 2016 in Japan compared to over 35,000 in the U.S. and they make it almost impossible to own a gun. Don’t they understand freedom. Healthcare is universal and affordable. Literacy is among the highest in the world. They live longer than any other people on the planet. The list could go on.

One of the nagging questions is given the kind and gentle culture we experienced in Japan, how could they have done the awful things they did in World War II in Nanking, Manchuria, Pearl Harbor and other places. And why are they so hostile to allowing immigration? The country is probably the most homogenous in the world. While welcoming tourists and visitors, the Japanese have the reputation of not accepting foreigners as part of Japanese society. At times some in Japan have described themselves as a master race.

So perhaps the country is not near-perfect after all and has a dark underside. They too are human and have made their share of mistakes. Much of their past history has involved conflict, and the warrior class of Samurais ruled the country for many years. Women are still far from equal with men. Their leaders have been as bad at times as some of ours. There is income and wage disparity in Japan though not to the extent as in the U.S. In other words, they have issues as has every country.

The take-home for me is that the main thing that Japan can teach the shrinking world that we live in is how to adapt to living in very limited space. Our small planet is getting smaller and the frontier spirit that dominated the U.S. and other countries no longer makes sense or is appropriate. Perhaps being polite, courteous, orderly and honoring others is one way to make the best of living together on a small ship.

 

• Japanese religion. When I was in Japan in 1962 working on an “experimental” dairy farm founded by an evangelical Episcopalian—I know, this sounds like an oxymoron– I was led to believe that the Japanese did not really have much of a religion and that was why it was so important to bring them into the Christian faith. Since our tour guide historian was once a priest in the Catholic Church, he tended to comment a lot on the Japanese religion and went to some length to describe Shintoism and Buddhism as valid expressions of religious beliefs and practice. Many of the fundamental values of all major religions are similar—the belief in kindness, humility, fairness and the awareness that there are mysterious, unseen powers that determine meaning and purpose for our short life on the Planet Earth. According to our guide the biggest difference between Asian religions and Western religions is that in Japan the emphasis is on “practicing” religion rather than adherence to a strict set of beliefs or creeds. In the West, what you believe tends to be more important than what you do or how you behave. He said more than once that if you are looking for theology in the Japanese religions, you won’t find it. In other words the approach in Japan is much looser, and the Japanese tend to “practice” both Shintoism (where they often marry) and Buddhism (where their funerals more frequently occur) and to visit and pray at both Shinto shrines and Buddhist temples. They do not see this as a problem or being inconsistent.

 When I was a visitor to Japan in 1962, having just completed my sophomore year at Davidson College, I saw this religious fickleness as a weakness. Now in my 76^th year, I think they are on to something.

The impressive group of geezer travelers. Of the 19 participants, six of us were “The Cousins,” and being with Embry’s first cousins and their spouses was special for us. It was our third major trip to Asia together, and at our advanced age you always ask the question in the back of your mind whether or not it will be the last. We had a great time together.

 Not having read the fine print about the tour, my idea beforehand as to who the other travelers would be could not have been farther from the truth. There were no walkers, canes or wheel chairs, and there were always 7 or 8 people who stormed the steep stairs when given the option of riding on an escalator. I suspect that each of them had read the fine print, and the strenuous nature of the trip is what appealed to them. One couple, like us, had even done an around-the-world-without flying adventure and made the entire voyage in five months on a tramp steamer, leaving the ship only for a day or two when it was in port. Most were from California and Washington State, and they all had impressive careers and were seasoned travelers. I never heard anyone complain about anything—except, of course, Donald Trump.

When it was time to say good bye at the end of the trip, it reminded me a bit of summer camp. We felt like we had made lifelong friends—which, of course, means something for us now very different from what it meant when we were in summer camp. We were sad to say good-bye.

• The seasoned guides. Where are you going to find a Japanese who speaks fluent English matched with an American who speaks fluent Japanese? That is what we had on this trip, and besides that, what made them special was their knowledge of Japan, their organization and communication skills, sense of humor and enthusiasm. Most important they cared for us tour members. I was the straggler in the group, hobbling along as best as I could, and despite the “quick and the dead” admonitions from time to time was never made to feel that I ruined the trip for others. The guides used a new high tech blue tooth communication device to provide commentary along the way, and at times I thought that when the ex priest talked he sounded exactly like Garrison Keeler.

 

 The special moments. There were many:

•  Japanese Inns. We stayed in two ryokyns for two night each. Do not go to Japan without staying in one and going to the onsen, the hot spring bath. Also the traditional food served there is fabulous and plentiful. Standard dress is a yukata (colorful bathrobe) for guests at all meals.
• Dancing with the ladies. We stopped once mid day in a tiny village surrounded by rice patties. Towering mountains were on all sides. A dozen or so local, farming ladies prepared a traditional Japanese feast with something like 20 dishes for each person. After the meal the ladies danced a traditional folk dance and invited us to join in, which most did. We then spent almost an hour seated in a big circle with everyone introducing themselves and answering questions.
• Tea ceremony. Another special Japanese tradition. This one was performed for us in a tiny tea house by a Swiss expat married to a Japanese woman. A good tea ceremony can take hours and you won’t find anything like it outside of Japan.
• Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Someone should make Donald Trump visit these cities before he blows North Korea off the map as he has been threatening. The devastation is indescribable. Could we have blown up at bomb in the ocean close enough for people to see? Did we have to drop a second bomb in Nagasaki only three days after the first? The cities have completely rebuilt and are quite beautiful, but the memories remain and they should. The survival of the planet depends on it.
• The shrines and temples. We saw a whole bunch of these all over the country. My favorites were the Zen temples with the mystical rock gardens and the Shinto Gate situated in the ocean near a shrine in a fishing village near Nagasaki.
• The food. Lots of fresh fish, sushi and sashimi and a lot of things that you have no idea what they are. But most are tasty and are healthy, perhaps a reason why most Japanese are thin. We ate a whole lot but avoided putting on a bunch of pounds.
•  Embry’s lecture. Embry had been invited by a professor at a major Japanese university to give a lecture about the American health care system. She talked to a lecture hall full of Japanese students at Kumamoto University and others from various developing countries like Egypt and Bangladesh. She did a great job and was warmly received. At the time she was not sure if the ACA would survive or not. Several people asked why Americans do not have universal health care and why the cost of care is three times per person in the U.S. compared to what it is in Japan. Embry’s answer was essentially this: all is not perfect in the U.S. and there is much we can learn from Japan.
• The challenge of seeing a country in a different way. Ok, I was expecting an easy hop on/hop off the bus tour and instead got a strenuous walking/public transportation tour. Though not easy, there is something to be said for seeing a country more like the people who live there. Admittedly you are still a tourist but taking buses and trains and doing a lot of walking gives you a feel for the country you usually do not get on a tour bus.

 

Given my knee condition, if we had read the fine print ahead of time, we probably would have passed on this tour. I am glad we missed reading it. It turned out to be a fabulous trip.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Here is the transcript of the nationally televised address by President Trump last evening:

Good evening, my fellow Americans. I am addressing the country this evening from the Trump Tower as The United States of America confronts a crisis unlike any other we have ever known. I am appealing to you for your help and support in order to save our beautiful country and to make American great again.

A new and dangerous enemy has emerged. I am not talking about Russia, which despite what anyone in Congress says, is our friend. I am not even talking about North Korea. So they have a few nukes. So they knock out South Korea and Japan. We will annihilate them before they can get to us. No need to worry. You can sleep at night. I am not even talking about the no good, Muslim, Islamic extremist terrorists. We are knocking them off one by one.

I am talking about the new threat, which has just become obvious to most Americans who followed the Charlottesville incident last week—a domestic threat. I am talking about the hate and violence groups that are threatening to take away all that we believe about our beautiful country. These people are evil and must be destroyed.

I am talking about the Alt Left.

Now some of you may be wondering what the Alt Left is. You saw some of them in Charlottesville carrying clubs and marching without a permit and disrupting what was otherwise a peaceful march led by very fine people, who did have a permit. And these fine people were trying to protect a statue of a very fine person, Robert E Lee, whom I am told headed up the Confederate army and did a good job. Some say that there were people in this peaceful group trying to protect the Lee statue who were not fine people, and that may be true. You can find bad people everywhere, even in groups like the Neo-Nazis and Ku Klux Klan. I am not defending such people if they do exist.

But they are not the real threat to our country. They may have militias and arsenals and stockpiles of weapons and they may say people will die and that they are at war with our country, but they also say that I am one of them and that they love me. I am not worried about them and neither should you.  But they are not the enemy we must fear.

The enemy we must fear and destroy is the Alt Left. These people say they believe in equality, fairness, peace and justice, but these are just empty words to cover up what they really believe and why they are fighting. They were the ones who carried clubs and pepper spray– not the peaceful group, who were the ones who carried assault weapons and could have shot anyone they wanted to but didn’t. They are good people.  The Alt Left is the group that is responsible for the violence in Charlottesville because of the clubs they had and because of all the bad things they said. These low-life people have only themselves to blame. They are the un-American group that you should fear.

So who are they? They are people who hate me. I have done nothing to hurt them, but they do not care. They mock me. They ridicule me. They make fun of me on late night TV. They make my life miserable. I am making America great again, and this is what I get in return? They must be stopped.

So who specifically are they? Well, this is why I am talking to you tonight on national television and radio. These people are everywhere. Some may even be your next-door neighbor. Some may even be in your own family. What they all have in common is that they hate me and give me low marks on national opinion surveys—even though I do not believe those surveys because I know they are fake. They have normal jobs and do normal things. That is why it is going to be hard to take them out, but with your help we can do it.

They join or support organizations like Planned Parenthood, People For The American Way, The Southern Poverty Law Center, The League of Women Voters, The United Way, Goodwill Industries, the Red Cross, The Salvation Army, The Sierra Club, the Nature Conservancy, your local Chamber of Commerce, and, of course, the Democratic Party. Not to mention the Boy Scouts. Did you hear what the head of the Boy Scouts said about me? An absolute disgrace. Treasonous, if you ask me. And they are in churches—they are not real Christians like the Evangelicals, who love me and think I am the Second Jesus — but fake ones like the Episcopals. I used to be a Presbyterian myself but no longer. They are the anti Christ.

So you get my message. They have infiltrated our country and are everywhere. There are even more of them now than there were Commies when McCarthy was going after the Red Scare.

They are the ones who believe in climate change, who believe in evolution, who read books and watch MSNBC and CNN and public television and who read the New York Times and the Washington Post. They are the elitist hypocrites. They work in government and non-profit organizations and say they are trying to make the world a better place. But you and I know better. Some even work in business. They are professors and schoolteachers, nurses and doctors, and even lawyers and Obama-appointed judges. They worst ones are actually the fake news reporters. They are the ones who embrace immigrants and refugees and say that black lives matter. They are the ones who want to narrow the income gap, go easy on terrible countries like Iran and Cuba, tax the rich, and who want some kind of universal heath care and   social safety net for the poor, who in my opinion, frankly, get what they deserve. They are against everything that I am for.

So what I am asking you to do tonight is to join me in a national effort to snuff them out. All I am asking is that you pay close attention; and if there is anyone you know or see who exhibits the characteristics I have just noted—promoting do-good fake causes, spouting lies and fake news, protesting me or the people who support me—or, most important, who are people who hate me, all I am asking you to do is to write down their names, addresses, telephone and social security numbers if you can get them, and send those names to me pronto. Could be your best friend, father, mother, brother, sister or child—just do it. Do it for the country. I will take care of the rest.

To implement this I am announcing tonight the formation of a new federal agency and cabinet position—the Department of National Unification. I am appointing Scott Pruitt to head that up since he will be out of a job when I close down the EPA next week, and Scott will start taking names and kicking, uh, you know what. At the same time we will double or triple the number of prison beds to take care of this and pay for it with the savings we will get when I close down the Departments of Education, HUD, Energy, State Department, and Commerce. I would have had my former friend, Jeff Sessions, head this up, but Sessions is such a low life and so disloyal that I could not trust him to get the job done. Pruitt will do it.

As I said when I started, we are in a state of national crisis. The Alt Left is trying to take over the country and destroy it. Most troubling—they hate me and say nothing nice about me. We can’t let that happen anymore. With your help we will snuff them out. Every single one.

Thank you and God bless you, each and everyone who loves me, and God bless the United States of America.

 

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Trump: Ok. Meeting come to order. Do we nuke ‘em now or later?

Kelly: Mr. President, with all due respect, I think we need to think this thing through.

Bannon: Nuke ‘em now. Show ‘em who’s boss.

Trump: Shut up, Steve. Ok, General, how many nukes we got ready to go?

Kelly: 1,800, sir, about the same number as Russia.

Trump: I am not worried about Russia for Crissake. You mean we got this many nukes and they are just sitting there gathering dust and costing the U.S. tax payers money?

Kelly: It is all about deterrent. We have these weapons to use as a deterrent to other nations that if they strike first we will annihilate them. In fact we have always had a no strike first policy.

Trump: Not anymore we don’t. I do not believe in wasting the tax payer’s money and let some two bit, diddlysquat, second rate, worthless country hit first. The American people won’t stand for it. If we are going to nuke them anyway, I say just skip the first step and get rid of the country. It would be doing the world a big favor.

Bannon: Right. Mr. President!

Kelly: But that would have disastrous consequences. North Korea we believe has about forty nuclear weapons which could fit on rockets that could easily reach South Korea and Japan and possibly Guam. If we did not knock them all out, they would retaliate any way they could. South Korea would be gone for sure. Tens of millions of people would be killed. There are more than 25 million living in the Seoul metro area who would be vaporized. Plus we do not know where all the weapons are. They are located in mobile units in tunnels underground. There is no way we could get them all.

Trump: What has South Korea done for us lately?

Bannon: Nothing.

Kelly: They could also hit Japan and kill millions more.

Trump: Hell, Japan nuked us in World War II. Would serve them right.

Kelly: Pardon me, Mr. President, Japan did not nuke us.

Trump: Oh yeah, what about Pearl Harbor?

Kelly: That was with conventional weapons. Actually we nuked them.

Trump: Whatever. And that was a first strike. So much for the no first strike theory. It did not apply then, and it won’t work now.

Bannon: Right, Mr. President.

Kelly: I am not the only one to offer caution. You have two other former generals in your cabinet who are in the Situation Room.

Trump: So how about it, MacMaster?

MacMaster: Agree with General Kelly. This could be the worst disaster in all of human history.

Trump: Well, that is what I was hinting at when I said that they would see fire and fury the world has never known. They have it coming to them. What about you, Mattis?

Trump: I also agree with General Kelly and General MacMaster. If there is any way we can avoid a nuclear war we should. We have to let this cool down plus we do not know what China or Russia would do.

Trump: I goddamn told you I am not worried about Russia. How many nukes do the Chinks have?

Mattis: We believe they have approximately 260.

Trump: Hell, that’s nothing. How much damage could that do?

Mattis: Wipe out every major city in the U.S.

Trump: Not if we get to them first. Hell, if we are going to wipe out North Korea, how much effort would it be to just keep flying and knock out China while we are at it?

MacMaster. Sir, it is a very large country…

Bannon: And just think how great that would make us. We would be first again.

Trump: Anyone else? Rex, what about you?

Tillerson: I agree with the generals, sir. We need to give diplomacy a chance.

Trump: So what are you doing about it?

Tillerson: Unfortunately all the officials appointed by Obama were fired just after the Inauguration. We have not replaced anyone and there are no plans to do so. We do not have anyone available at the State Department to work on it. Someone suggested sending Dennis Rodman over and offering them an NBA franchise, maybe Charlotte, but that seems like a long shot.

Trump: Give that some more thought, Rex. Anyone else weighing in….? Well, not hearing any response from anyone else in the Situation Room, I am assuming that all the rest of you agree with me and Steve. I’ve got a golf game with some Russian friends right now, then dinner at the grill, then another golf game tomorrow morning, but will get back to you when I have decided what to do. Or you can read about it in the fake newspapers.

 

 

 

 

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FN: Mr. President, thank you for taking the time out from your vacation and daily golf game—and we know that you are the best golfer that ever occupied the White House and one of the greatest golfers who ever lived—thank you for agreeing to an exclusive interview as you now have reached your first 200 days in office.

Trump: The greatest 200 days of all time. Just look at the stock market. Think of all the billionaires I have made even richer and how rich everyone now is, and it is all because of me. Under Obama the economy tanked, and if crooked Hillary had been elected, God help us. She would have been impeached and in jail anyway if she had been elected, and she should be in jail now. That is why I want to fire Sessions. I told him to nail her, and what has he done? Nothing. Disloyal bastard, plus he has given the crook, Mueller, a free hand to carry on a witch hunt that the American people know is fake, just like all the fake news about Russia. The American people know Putin is our friend, and all this stuff about the election meddling is made up by Democrats, the sore losers. They can’t beat me at the polls, so they do this. They should all be put in jail, and frankly the American people won’t stand for this behavior.

FN: Thank you, Mr. President, but the purpose of the interview is to talk about your many accomplishments.

Trump: Well, there are so many I don’t know where to begin. Have you checked out the occupancy of my DC Hotel lately? We have tripled the room rates and are booked almost trough 2020. Mainly foreign diplomats and foreign businessmen. They know a good president when they see one, but not these terrible Democrats and even the weak kneed Republicans, who can’t even pass a health care bill, they are disgusting. And Hillary. If she hadn’t paid off three million illegals in California to vote for her, I would have won the popular vote by the widest margin ever. And we are building more hotels, golf courses and resorts all over the world. It is fabulous, just fabulous! But poor Donny Junior. He is doing such a great job running the business, but they are trying to tar and feather him over some fake meeting with Russians.

FN: Thank you, Mr. President, but actually I was thinking about all your many political and government achievements.

Trump: Oh yeah, those. Well, if you read  history books, there has been nothing like it. Start with my executive orders. I have rolled back every order on the environment that the crook, Obama, ordered illegally. All his fake nonsense about climate change. And we are now out of the Paris Accord, freeing us up to do whatever we like, and believe me, we will do it. The American people know fake news when they see it. And I have pretty much wiped out the EPA. As a practical matter they are finished. Ditto for the State Department. We are not filling vacancies because we don’t need a bunch of egg heads telling Rex what to do. HUD? A dead duck and the same for most of the other agencies except Homeland Security. The American people know that Washington bureaucrats are our real enemy. We are taking care of that big time. And yet all the fake news is about Russia. The fake press should be locked up for all their lies and fake news. But we are taking action. Did you know I have just started my own TV station where you will get the real news?

FN: Thank you, Mr. President. You are a great man, a great golfer, and the greatest president of all time. But are there other things you are proud of?

Trump: You bet. I’ll go through this fast because my golf game with my Russian guests is to start soon. But take this all down. I am nailing the immigrants big time, stopping the Muslims from coming in and sending the Latinos back to where they belong. Good riddance and the American people love me for it. And just you watch—the wall is gonna get built. Then we will nail illegal voters, throwing ‘em in jail. There is massive voter fraud, and everyone knows it. It is all those no good Democrats who are cheating. That will come to a halt when we get all the voter registration info. You are not going to see that many Democrats vote in the future. And we are now suing the colleges who pursue so called “affirmative action.” We are requiring cops to get tougher with suspects, rough ‘em up, and we are going to throw all drug users in jail and are seeing massive new construction of private prisons to take care that. Helps the economy–jobs, jobs, jobs. In fact Donny and Eric are starting a new prison company.  And did I mention the Supreme Court justice?

FN: Would you care to comment on legislation that has been passed?

Trump: I am draining the swamp, but it is slower than I had hoped. It is basically the Democrats fault. We had a great health care bill which would have been great, really great, the greatest ever. Fake News said 25-30 million would lose their insurance, but that was a lie. Obamacare is destroying our country, and everyone knows it. A couple of Republicans caved and they will pay for it, but we will get a law and it will be wonderful and beautiful. And then we got tax breaks coming next—I mean tax reform—and that will really make everyone richer and give us more jobs, jobs and jobs.

FN: And foreign policy?

Trump: The Congress totally screwed up on the Russian sanctions bill, but I am going to work around that, and as for North Korea and China, well, I would like to talk about that, but I’ve got to go to my golf game. I will say this: That a couple of nukes from us would pretty much end any threat from them because there would be no “them” left. And as I told somebody a while back, if you’ve got these nukes, why not just use them? They are just sitting around gathering dust.

FN: Thank you, Mr. President…

Trump: And one more thing. I am sick and tired of all these fake polls saying I am not popular. Have you ever been to one of my rallies? They are packed, and they love me. They scream and holler my name and they say I am the greatest man who ever lived. Some of the evangelicals say I am the second Jesus. They are the ones who know. They know how much good I am doing. And believe me, if those crooked Democrats, sore losers, try to give me trouble over a fake Russian tampering which never happened, we could be talking armed resistance from my devoted followers, who love me so much. So everybody better watch out.

FN: Thank you Mr. President. Congratulations on the best first 200 days in U.S. history. You surely must be the greatest man who ever lived. Good luck in your golf game with your Russian guests! And thanks for making America great again!

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The long awaited meeting at the G20 Summit between Trump and Putin occurred with no reporters present—except for Faux News. Here is the abridged but truthful, partial transcript of the two-hour meeting:

Trump: Mr. Putin, I am so glad to be with you again. The secret meeting we had at the beauty pageant did not give us enough time to really get to know each other. You know that you are my hero and role model.

Putin: Thank you, Mister President. It is my honor.

Trump: May I call you Vladdy?

Putin: Of course. May I call you Donny-Boy?

Trump: No problem. My first question is simply to confirm what you and I already know to be true—that Russia had nothing whatsoever to do with any meddling in our election. 

Putin: Of course not, Donny-Boy, we would never do anything like that.

Trump: That is what I thought. Those phony intelligence reports drive me crazy. I am fighting the Deep State where these no good bureaucrats care more about their country than about me. Fake reports. All the stuff I get from these scoundrels, these so called intelligence agents is fake.

Putin: Donny-Boy, I feel sorry for you.

Trump: Now, Vladdy, let’s move on to other more important things. What I want to know is why and how you are so popular. Now I am also very popular but not as popular as you. I won the election, thanks to you and your operatives, by the largest margin in all of American history when you take into account all the illegal aliens and thugs that voted time after time illegally. My popularity right now is also the highest any American president has ever had when you discount the fake polls by the fake press.   But what really pisses me off is these talk shows and phony pundits like Joe and Mika and all the slime balls at CNN, the New York Times and the Washington Post. They hate me for no good reason other than sour grapes. They don’t want to make America great again. I’m making America great again. They hate me for that. What can I do about it?

Putin: Jail ‘em.

Trump: You mean just lock ‘em up like I want to lock up Hillary?

Putin: Of course, Donny-Boy. Everyone knows that a free press destroys democracy. If you want to really make America great again, the first thing you do is jail the fake press. It is quite simple. America won’t ever be truly great until you restore true freedom of speech by locking up the fake press. Just check my approval ratings of over 80%. Do you think that would be the case if I allowed a bunch of malcontents and sore losers to dump on me all the time?

Trump: Great idea, Vladdy. That is how we can restore freedom of speech. How about it, Rex?

Tillerson: Well, Mr. President, we do have a constitution. There is something in it about freedom of speech.

Trump: How many new Supreme Court appointees will it take to change that?

Putin: We have a constitution too, but with the right approach you can get around such technicalities.

Trump: Start to work on it, Rex.

Tillerson: Will do, Mr. President.

Trump: Now about cyber security. Is there any way that you can help us with this since you guys seem to be much better at this sort of thing than we are?

Putin: I would be delighted to help you, Donny-Boy, and keep America from ever being violated like you were in the last election. To do this, of course, we will need you to turn over all classified information from your NSA and CIA. Of course, we already have most of what we need, but this would make our job easier. With this information, I can personally guarantee you that you will never be cyber attacked by a hostile power.

Trump: Thank you, Vladdy. You are a true inspiration. Get to work on it, Rex.

Putin: Is there anything else on your agenda, Donny-Boy?

Trump: How can we work better together to kill the terrorist, Islamic menace and to keep those terrible Europeans from messing things up?

Putin: Jail ‘em. The Europeans, that is–especially Merkel and Macron. As for the Islamists, kill them. We will help you on that.

Trump: Thanks, Vladdy. Rex, can you work on this?

Tillerson: Yesser, Mr. President.

Putin: Now, Donny-Boy, in exchange for helping you with cyber security and killing terrorists, I want the sanctions lifted and I want them lifted NOW. I want our mansions back and I want our people back in the U.S. doing their jobs.

Trump: Rex, could you work on this?

Tillerson: Yesser, Mr. President, but the Congress is opposed, even Republicans.

Putin: Jail ‘em.

Trump: Work on it, Rex. And there is one more thing, Vladdy. All this stuff about climate change. We do not believe in climate change in the U.S. but we are the only country in the world that is taking this position. It makes us look bad when all the other G20 countries and the other countries move forward on the Paris Accord and say bad things about us. Do you think that you could change your position and join us? This would help you mine more coal and sell more oil. And it would make us look good.

Putin: No dice, Donny-Boy. Even I believe in climate change. But I can help you in other ways. We can form a new alliance which the whole world would fear—the new Russo-American alliance for freedom, justice and making the world great again. How about it?

Trump: Will have to work on this one. Not sure I can get the approval from Congress yet. But give me some time. They will be passing the health care bill this week which will take away health care from the poor and give billions to the rich, then the tax break bill for the rich the week following, then scrapping most federal agencies after that. I am sure that by August they will be ready to approve the new alliance and then America—and Russia!—will truly be great again.

Putin: Thank you, Donny-Boy. Very constructive meeting.

Trump: Indeed, Vladdy. See you soon I hope.

 

 

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Editor’s Note: Please excuse the absence of editions of Faux News over the past several weeks. This editor has been working feverishly on the upcoming photography exhibit entitled “Joseph Howell Photography: A 50 Year Retrospective” to be held—along with the drawings and art of Michael Martin—at the Katzen Art Center in Washington. Opening is on Saturday, June 24, from 5-7. Exhibit will run through August 4.

But fake news continues as the world turns, and here is the latest edition:

On Friday, June 16, 2017 President Trump held his third cabinet meeting. The following is the complete and unedited transcript:

Trump: Thank you all for coming. Sorry about the shooting yesterday and going forward we will try to get more guns in the hands of the good guys. Now I want to hear how each of you is doing with regard to making America Great Again. No excuses. I want it all, and I want it in great detail. Now let’s get started. Mister Vice President.

Pence: Mr. President, I am humbled that you would call on me to speak first and so grateful, so very grateful to serve under your majesty—I mean presidency–that I cannot begin to express my profound and great gratitude to you personally. At he last meeting I said I had been blessed. That was an understatement. I have been totally transformed and born again. Sir, you have already made America great again! My desire is to kiss your ring if you have one, to shine your shoes, to bow and ask for your mercy, to…

Trump: That’s enough, Pence. You are doing a fabulous job, fabulous. Thanks for sharing all you are doing. Priebus.

Priebus: Your majesty, I mean, Mister President, the Vice President does not begin to describe how much you are doing to make America Great Again and how you have turned our country into the greatest from what it was before, which was the worst, the very worst. Thank you Mister President, thank you, thank you, thank you….

Trump: Great work, Reince. You have got it exactly right. Secretary of State.

Tillerson: Sir, it is a true honor…

Trump: Thanks, Rex, you are doing a terrific job—keep it up! Secretary of the Treasury.

Mnuchin: I am so honored to serve under your rule, Mister President, and am happy to report because of you the stock market is at all time highs and you have made us all so very rich. Everyone. And this is just the beginning. Just wait ‘till your tax reform passes and the hard working one percent of us will be exempt from all taxes. The country is great because of you and you alone.

Trump: Right, Steve, and keep it up! Secretary of Defense.

Mattis: Sir, I believe it says in the Bible some place that the weak will be made strong and the strong weak. We were weak and now we are strong and it is all because of you. And it is all right there in the Bible.

Trump: Great job, Jim. Attorney General.

Sessions: Your highness, I mean, Mister President. I know who is lying and who is telling the truth—and Comey should be locked up for perjury–and you can count on me to get all those leakers locked up too–that is the only crime here, not these lies, falsehoods, innuendos and fake news about Russians for God’s sake– and that includes Hillary and her email felonies and her traitorhood. She has ruined the country with those emails, but you have made us great again! And nobody even talks about those terrible emails anymore, just about our good friends, the Russians. It is a vast, left wing conspiracy sponsored by the slimy “elite” East Coast press. Plus we all know that you were elected by the greatest landslide in American history except for those illegals who kept voting over and over, and we are going to lock them all up and send them home where they belong.

Trump: Keep fighting, Jeff. Lock ‘em up. Commerce.

Ross: Sir, because of your greatness we are trading again on our terms…

Trump: Thanks, Wilbur, I knew I could count on you. Labor.

Acosta: Sir, you have put everyone back to work just like you said you would. And you are the champion of the hard working men and women who are working to make America great again. They love you. I love you. We all love you. Just like you said, you could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and we would all still love you, and by way, like you said, if everyone carried a gun, you wouldn’t see members of the U.S. Congress being mowed down by the Bernie Sanders campaign.

Trump: Got it, Alex, and I appreciate that. Jeff, please take care of this. Now Health and Human Services.

Price: Because of you, the failed health care system in the U.S. will soon be history and you have freed the American people from the servitude of the so called Obamacare. I know the House bill hasn’t passed the Senate yet, but insurance companies are dropping out like flies leaving people free from insurance. This is what I call making America great again and you are doing it. Thank you Mister President. A terrific accomplishment to free over 20 million people who are in bondage under this terrible Obamacare. I am so lucky to be in your Cabinet. Thank you, thank you!

Trump: No problem. Housing and Urban Development’

Carson: Sir, you are the greatest and if I had known how great you really were, I would never, NEVER, have considered running against you…

Trump: Keep up the great work, Ben. Energy.

Perry: Me too, your highness, uh greatness, I mean your Presidency. Would never have even thought about running if I had known how great you are. In fact the reason I dropped out was because after the first debate I realized how great you really are. I was the first to quit and I am proud of it, and proud to serve you.

Trump: Good decision, Rick. The U.N.

Haley: Yes, Mister President. The U.S. is back. We are number one again. We are feared. We are admired. And the whole world now knows this, thanks, of course, to you. America IS great again and everyone knows this.

Trump: Great job you are doing, Nikki. Now I realize that there are some of you who have not had a chance to tell us all that you are doing to make America great again. So I would simply ask you to tweet me and tell me everything in detail just like your fellow cabinet members have done. One tweet each will be enough, but don’t leave out anything. And thank each of you for sharing your ideas and all the details of all the great work you are doing. I can now proclaim that we are back: because of what you all have told me in this very important Cabinet meeting, I know that America is truly great again.

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You did not read or see on TV anything about the secret, private conference between the Pope and President Trump with only a translator present. But we were there. Faux News bribed the translator and placed a listening device under his lapel. Here is the transcript verbatim and unedited. This is an exclusive to Faux News.

Trump: Your Highness, it is really good to meet you. I have heard a lot about you. Good things.

Translator: “Holiness.”

Trump: Same difference, but ok, “Holiness.”

Pope: Thank you, Mr. President, and thank you for coming to the Vatican.

Trump: We have a lot in common, your Reverence, and I think we are a lot alike.

Translator: “Your Holiness.”

Trump: Yeah, I meant Holiness. For one thing I read somewhere that all Popes are infallible. I actually am infallible myself.

Pope: [No comment]

Trump: And if you are infallible that means that you have never made a mistake. I also have never made a mistake. Yeah, eight bankruptcies and three wives, numerous affairs but no mistakes. You would not believe how much money I made off the bankruptcies.

Pope:[No comment]

Trump: So we can talk man to man. And what I want to talk about is the corner lot in the Vatican, which would make a fabulous site for a super luxury hotel and the best thing about it is that the trademark will be Trump Hotel but the “T” in Trump would be in the form of a crucifix, how does that sound? I have had a designer work out a sketch and would be pleased to show it to you.

Pope: Could we talk about climate change?

Trump: Now I know that you don’t want to part with the site. But I am going to make you an offer that you can’t refuse.

Pope: Perhaps we could focus for a moment on world peace.

Trump: So here is the deal. I know you aren’t interested in fighter jets, nuclear bombs, weapons of all shapes and sizes and classified U.S. intelligence though, believe me, a lot of other people are; and when I made the deal with the Saudis, they almost kissed me. Same for Netanyahu. But, your Holyman, you don’t care about those things.

Translator: “Your Holiness.”

Trump: So you know what I am going to do? If we can get this deal done, I am going to become a Roman Catholic. Do you have any idea what this might mean to your bottom line? Think of doubling or tripling your bingo intake. My followers are mainly Evangelicals and Protestants, and if I switch, they will follow me and they will put money in the offering plate. And they like to play bingo. Actually I am a Presbyterian but don’t take to them much since they don’t know how to have fun, and I would fit right in with the Catholics. Just check out my positions on abortion and women at the altar.

Pope: Perhaps we could talk about the poor and the meek, the least of these among us.

Trump: Yeah, sad, but God helps those who help themselves. I read it in the Gospel of Peter. And most are losers. I hate losers.

Pope: But didn’t a lot of these people vote for you, and if your plans come to fruition they will lose their health care, food stamps, job retraining and…

Trump: But just check this out. This is the crucifix I was talking about. There it says “Trump Hotel,” but can you believe how real Jesus looks hanging from the “T”?

Pope: Thank you very much, Mr. President. And thank you for coming to the Vatican. Our time is up and we must move on, but I will give your proposal careful consideration but suggest you do not make any radical decisions like becoming a Roman Catholic.

Trump: No sir, your Honor, no changes until a deal is done.

Translator: “Your Holiness.”

Pope: God bless you, Mr. President, and good-bye.

 

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The following is a press conference held in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, on Sunday, May 21. Note that all media except Faux News has been permanently banned from all Trump press conferences.

Trump: I have a short opening statement. This is the greatest presidential trip of all time. Period. I have accomplished more in two days in Saudi Arabia than any president before me and more is yet to come. Now first question—Faux News.

FN: What is your greatest achievement with the Saudis?

Trump: There are so many I am not sure where to start, but it is probably the three new golf courses on the desert. No one will have seen anything like it when they get built. It will be like a new Trump Garden of Eden. In fact that is the trade mark we have selected. Second question—Faux News.

FN: What did it take to get that accomplished?

Trump: Not much. A dozen American fighter bombers, the newest ones we have, and one aircraft carrier. They initially wanted two but I jawboned them down to one. I am the world’s greatest deal guy. And is this a great deal or what? And to sweeten the deal, I threw in a couple of classified secrets.

FN: That is very impressive Mr. President, but what about the other accomplishments—world peace, killing terrorists, solving the Sunni Shia conflicts….

Trump: Oh, there is much more. We will be doing two new hotels in Riyadh. Ivanka has just announced a new line of fashion burkas, and Jared has got a couple of new high rises in the works as well. It has been a hugely successful meeting with the king, and I really like these Saudis. They seem to like me too. The king said we are really two of a kind and can truly understand one another. It is just a damn shame that the fake press in America hates me and is trying to destroy me. The people who voted for me—and that is a vast majority of the American people, the most ever if you take away all the illegals who voted—they love me, but not the press and the sore losers, hypocritical so called Progressives. Why do people like Endogen, you know, the guy from Turkey, and Abdel Fattah whatshisname from Egypt and, of course, my buddy Vladimir, why do they all love me, and the fake press just hates me….? And by the way, this kind of fake press reporting  would not be tolerated here in Riyadh. Third question. This one from Faux News.

FN: What will be next? What do you plan to do when you get to Israel?

Trump: First I will secure permanent peace in Israel and resolve the conflict between the Israelis and the Palestinians forever, and then I plan to announce three new resorts—one on the Med and one on the Dead Sea. Still looking for the third site. And there will be another Ivanka fashion line. Last question—this one from Faux News.

FN: What about the rest of the trip?

Trump: It will be the greatest ever. The Pope and I have a lot in common and the NATO people are finally coming around. And I will have lots of announcements about peace, prosperity, U.S. jobs, more jobs, golf courses, hotels, resorts and new fashion lines. Got to run. Headed to Israel.

FN: Thank you, Mr. President. You are the greatest!

 

 

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I attended a fund raiser this week and bumped into an old friend, for whom I have great affection and respect. We found a small table in a quiet corner and over a beer caught up on what each of us had been up to over the past couple of years. I was not surprised that his life has been going well—two handsome teenage children, a strong marriage and a successful business career.

Nor was I surprised when he turned to me and commented, “And can you believe how outrageous all this stuff about Trump is?”

I nodded and acknowledged that I was obsessed by the whole situation.

Then he said, “ It is all the press’s fault. They won’t leave him alone. They won’t just let him be Trump. The Democrats and the elite liberals are just a bunch of sore losers…”

This was when I felt my heart sink into my stomach.

He surely must have known that I would not agree but continued, “Joe, as you know I have voted for Democrats more than I have Republicans and am an Independent. But I have to tell you until the Democrats figure out the hurt that exists in this country and the genuine admiration people have for Trump–especially the white working class and the Evangelicals– they will never take back the Congress or elect another president.”

What?

I had two choices. First, I could take him on and in fact made a feeble effort to argue that tax cuts for the rich, cutting 30 million people off of health insurance, and ripping apart the social safety net was not the answer for the problems of the white working class. He shook his head and held his ground, “The liberal elites just do not understand and don’t get it. Until they do, the situation will continue to be hopeless…”

So I moved to Choice 2. We changed the subject and talked about the Nats.

My friend is college educated. He grew up in a working class family and today by any standard is a success. He and his wife both have good, high paying jobs. They live in a beautiful house in a very nice neighborhood. He supports charities, attends church regularly and is community-minded.

And he supports Trump.

So do something like 40% of the rest of the country.

Why am I not able to understand this? Perhaps I have lived in Washington for too long and associate mainly with like-minded people. Perhaps it is because I do not recognize my own prejudices. Maybe I am one of the hated elites.

I still do not have an answer. As some of you may know, my book on the white working class, Hard Living on Clay Street, has just been re-released with a new banner on the cover, “If you want to understand why Trump got elected, read this book.” I am doing a book talk on Sunday when I am supposed to offer insights about why the white working class voted for Trump. I will offer the suggestion that the people I wrote about in my book had very difficult lives and did not perceive how the federal government did much to help them out. In those days the emphasis was more on race issues than class issues, and they felt looked down on and abandoned.

I suspect some of the same feeling is behind the support for Trump today. Now the culprit seems to be immigrants and the elusive global economy, which sends jobs overseas. I sort of get that.

But what I do not get is how solid middle and upper income people with good jobs and nice houses can support Trump and the policies which he is promoting. I do not get how many genuinely seem to love and admire this outrageous narcissist and self absorbed egotist. How can Evangelicals, of all people, who are deeply religious and say that they want to follow the example of Jesus, see Trump as their hero? Why do they hate Hillary so much? Why do they hate Obama?

But what I do know is this: The 40 percenters who are sticking by Trump as his presidency seems to be unraveling are not all bad people. In fact I am sure the vast majority are good people, like my friend. When you aren’t talking politics they would not appear to be all that different from people who can’t stand Trump. They want the same thing out of life that we all want—decent jobs and good careers, loving families and relationships, decent homes and neighborhoods, financial and health care security and opportunities for our children. But I also know that when you do start talking politics there is a deep divide that somehow we have to figure out a way to overcome.

And I also know this. We are in a very fragile situation right now for which there does not appear to be an obvious happy ending. In my view Trump is a disaster and not fit to be president. If he is impeached or quits, the 40 percenters will push back. If that were to happen, my friend warned me, “It’s Katy bar the door.”

 

 

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