Faux News has learned that the Republican Party is more divided than at  in any time in its storied history. The issue has to do with who is responsible for the attacks on the Capitol on January 6.

“I know who is responsible it is Antifa and Black Lives Matter. They did it! They masqueraded as Trump supporters, but they really were the anti Americans that hate our country and our revered leader and want to destroy our way of life. They just had on disguises. I say lock ‘em up, every damn one of them. There is no place in our country for these horrible  people!”

“No, no, no! You don’t understand. They were who they say they were. People who loved Trump. People who were willing to die for him. They are patriots, that’s what they are. People who know the election was stolen from him and who want to overthrow the government so Trump can return to power. They are American heroes just like the ones who took back our country from the Brits, people like George Washington, Paul Revere and er, er, er…..”

 

The only thing that unites these two disparate wings of the party is the belief that there should not be an independent commission established to determine which one of them is right.

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We all have everyday stories worth telling. This is the first in a new series featuring my stories along with stories by others when I receive them.

In the “Age of the Credit Card” we hardly use cash for anything anymore. In fact during Covid-times, many establishments do not even accept cash. I have gotten into the habit of using credit cards to pay on line for just about all ongoing expenses—rent, utilities, internet access, monthly parking, memberships, telephone, Amazon Prime, Blue Apron (meal deliveries), my weekly pledge to my church, and just about anything else you can think of.  I might as well throw away my checkbook since I practically never use it anymore.

Using your credit card and paying on line is  convenient  except when you lose your credit card, or worse, if it is stolen. I had my wallet stolen in Madrid when I had my pocket picked when Embry and I were traveling around the world in 2015, and it was a disaster. For some reason if you are out of the U.S. and not calling the credit card company on the phone number they have listed for you on file, the best you can hope for is getting a new card sent to your home address, then finding a friend who will get into your house, find the unmarked envelope with the replacement card, and then FedEx it to you overnight. We managed to accomplish this feat   for the Madrid incident, but it was a nightmare.

Oddly, over the past six months I have lost my credit card twice–the second time just three weeks after the first. Big mystery, but it happened. Probably should chalk it up to old age. The problem is that when you lose your card you have to notify all the places which have your old credit card information on file and give them the new credit card information—in my case probably around a dozen establishments. Having had to do this twice recently, I swore I would never allow this to happen again. That is why I now tape my credit card to my chest and remove the bandages each time I use the card, then rebandage it with the strongest adhesive tape on the market. It takes time, but it is a sure bet that I won’t lose my card or have it stolen.

Okay, this is a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point. I am terrified that I will have to go through another drill of notifying all the people that have my card information on file.

That is why when a message popped up on my iPhone a couple of days ago that there were three suspicious transactions that needed to be verified, I immediately went into a cold sweat. One charge was to a gas station for $23.07 the day before, so I checked “valid” since I remembered filling up our car. One was for $15.36 at our local CVS the previous afternoon. Yes, I remembered that, so I checked valid for that one too. And then there was one for $30.02 for a purchase from Apple at 2:07 AM that very day, which I did not recall, so I checked “not sure.” It was probably one of those recurring charges that come through automatically in the middle of the night, so I thought nothing about it and went about my business.

Until I tried to use my credit card the next day and had it rejected.

I immediately called the number on the back of the card, then waited for 15 minutes before getting a live operator and asked why my card was rejected. She explained that I had checked that I was not sure about one transaction.

“Well, I am pretty sure it is ok since I buy a lot of stuff on line  from Apple,” I said.

She responded that being “pretty sure” was not enough, to which I responded that actually I was “very sure.” The idea of going through the whole ordeal yet again was more that I could bear.

“Exactly how ‘very sure’ are you?” she replied.

What the hell, I thought, so I announced boldly that I was 99.9% sure that the charge was valid.

“Well,” she said, “I am very sorry but we are cancelling your card and in approximately 10 business days you will receive another one in the mail. Being 99.9% certain is not sufficient.”

“No wait! Please! Don’t do this to me, I have thought about it, and I am now 100% sure that the charge was valid.”

“So then, what was it for?”

She had me. I had no idea what the charge was for. There was a short silence.

“Lots of stuff,” I replied.

“So you are now 100% sure you bought ‘lots of stuff’ on line at the Apple Store at 2:07 AM this morning?”

It had to be one of those recurring membership charges, didn’t it? What else could it be? I took a deep breath and said with as much self confidence as I could muster that I was absolutely 100% sure I had bought “lots of stuff” on line at the Apple Store at 2:07 AM this morning.

“Fine,” she said, I am now reactivating your card.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I replied, hung up the phone and breathed a long sigh of relief.

Then I wondered what if somebody nefarious actually had possession of my credit card information….

 

You are invited to submit an everyday story to me at Joehowell476@gmail.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Geez, I am a life long Republican and believe in free enterprise, small government, self reliance, strong foreign policy, lower taxes, and all the great things the Party has done in the past–the party of Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt and Ronald Reagan. Is it ok if I run for public office?

Only if you swear that the last election was stolen and our Leader, Trump, was robbed.

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After a week of high level meetings, policy papers, strategies and strategic planning for the future, the Republican Party presented its policy recommendations on all issues of importance, domestic and foreign.

Oppose any and all legislation proposed by Biden or any Democrat. No exceptions!

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We are sick and tired of this gun violence, sick and tired of it, and it has got to stop. There have been over 140 mass killing incidents this year already in the U.S.– three this year in Indianapolis alone. It is just terrible, terrible, terrible, and the Democrats have done nothing, nothing, nothing. They talk about such things as tougher gun laws, but so called gun laws have never worked and never will. That is why we Republicans are introducing legislation today–again, I might add– that will solve the problem once and  for all.

Every American over the age of 12 will be required to carry a loaded weapon at all times. If everyone was armed at the FedX facility in Indianapolis, somebody would have blown that nut case away after his first round. That is the only way we will stop this madness.

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My good friend, Hank Ackerman, classmate at Davidson, and editor of the literary magazine celebrating our 50th reunion of the Class of 1964, sent me the cartoon below. I was the cartoonist for the Davidson College newspaper in those days and drew this for the reunion. Nice fit with the “life as a race” theme of my recent  post. Thanks, Hank!

                       ty 

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A front page article in the New York Times today (April 8, 2021) was about the discovery of a subatomic particle called a “muon,” which seems to defy the generally accepted laws of physics known as the Standard Model. It is akin to an electron but much heavier and wobbles when it is not supposed to. The result of experiments announced yesterday confirmed similar experiments conducted in 2001 and is said to have only a 1 in 40,000 chance of being a fluke. More experiments will be required before it can change the Standard Model; but if it becomes accepted by science, the Times reports it will usher in a new understanding of the cosmos and transform physics. The Times article states:

It might also lead in time to explanations of cosmic mysteries that have long preoccupied our lonely species. What exactly is dark matter, the unseen stuff that astronomers say make up one-quarter of the universe by mass? Indeed, why is there matter in the universe at all?

So, what does this have to do with us humans? Why should we care?

Ever since my next door neighbor in Nashville witnessed in the middle of the night a flying saucer land in his backyard and then take off before dawn, I have been fascinated with the cosmos and with extraterrestrials.  I was about eight or nine at the time and saw with my own eyes the large, charred area in his backyard, seared by the spaceship. One could argue that it resembled the remnants of leaf burning, which did happen frequently in the fall in Nashville backyards in those days, but no, this happened. My neighbor was three or four years older than me, and I looked up to him and trusted him completely. This was the real thing.

And why shouldn’t it be true? To argue there is no intelligent life out there somewhere? Please.

On a clear night away from ambient light you can see the twinkling of thousands of stars. So far with our powerful new telescopes, astronomers have not found a star without at least one planet circling around it. Experts estimate the maximum number of stars that you can see without a telescope to be about 5,000. This is just a tiny fraction of the 300 billion stars that are estimated to be in our galaxy, which we call the Milky Way. With a small telescope some of the tiny twinkling lights that you can see are actually other galaxies. Of course, no one knows how many galaxies there are, but the latest estimates are that there are around two trillion. Some scientists now believe that our universe may only be one of an infinite number of universes in what they describe as a “multiverse.”

And today we learn in the New York Times that there is a new subatomic particle with strange behavior that if verified by additional experiments could change the whole way we understand the cosmos.

Here is where science and religion intersect. The muon discovery and the vastness and complexity of our universe are beyond the comprehension of us humans on this small, lonely planet. How can we “touching, tasting, hearing, seeing, human merely beings” (in the words of ee cummings) figure this out and what it all means?   The world is so complex and the universe so vast, we will never truly understand its ultimate meaning. This leads many to the belief in God. Certainly, there must be a reason for all this, we conclude. Certainly, there must be a meaning. Science deals with facts, not meaning. Religion deals with meaning.

But as one who has lived over 79 years on this planet and who has paid his dues by graduating from seminary, who came perilously close to becoming an Episcopal priest, and who is a regular churchgoer, I am the first to admit that the vastness of the universe and the complexity of all that is in it is not explained by any religion, nor do I believe is intended to be. Certainly, faith is important to how we live our lives and gives us clues (if we are lucky) to deeper understanding, to spiritual connections, and to hope. But the discovery of the “magical muon” underscores that there is so much more that we still do not understand and will never understand about the universe and our place in it. The only words that I can think of that capture our predicament are “wonder” and “awe.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Today I celebrate my 79^th birthday and begin my 80^th year–or ninth decade–on the Planet Earth. What that means for anyone my age or older, is that the finish line is coming into sight though still hazy and (hopefully) some years away.  I choose that image carefully. Life for us humans—and perhaps for all creatures—is a race. There is a start and a finish for every life. Before the start we do not know how long the race will last or what obstacles will stand in our way or what shape we will be in when we finish.

Will the course be long, or will it be short? Will it be flat and smooth or rocky and hilly? Will we fight monsters along the way? Will we dust ourselves off and keep going when we stumble? Will we break an ankle or a leg? Will we help fellow racers who fall?  When we cross the finish line, will we feel victorious or sad or just relieved that the race is over?

For many years I was a serious runner. I was never all that fast but loved long distance running and participated in a whole bunch of 10-milers, a couple of half marathons and one full marathon (the 1984 Marine Corps Marathon, which I did not finish but made my goal of 20 miles—for me a major achievement). I remember the feeling when I would cross the finish line, having given the effort all I had. Since I always was toward the back of the pack, I was not competing against anyone, just trying to do my best. But what a feeling of relief and pride when I crossed the finish line even though the leaders in the race had long before departed for home.

The questions as we stumble across the finish line of life’s race are these: So how well did you run the race? Did you give it your best effort? Did you help others along the way? Did you make a difference?

How you answer these questions in your heart of hearts will determine whether you finish with pride or regret or just relief that at last the race is over.

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The gentleman stepped behind the podium and began to address the eager crowd.  

We Republicans are now the party of the White Working Class.

We believe in killing minimum wage laws, which destroy your jobs.

We believe in killing socialized medicine like Obamacare so you can get good, cheap health care any time you want.

We believe labor unions should be outlawed. They keep you White Working Class people down.

We oppose subsidies to support childcare.  We Republicans know what you White Working Class  people want, and we think your women deserve to stay home with your young children where they belong.

We oppose subsidies to reduce the cost of higher education and oppose free community colleges.  These subsidies will not help the White Working Class since we know you people have no interest in education.

We are against government spending on so called infrastructure projects, which waste money and do nothing for the White Working Class.

We are against letting immigrants into the US. They  steal your jobs and rape your women.

We are against any new taxes. Income taxes hurt the White Working Class. You need to keep the few dollars you earn.

We are against all the elite, well-educated snobs who think they are better than you are. They should be locked up.

What we are for are voting restrictions that keep the enemies of the White Working Class from voting, and  we are for balanced budgets and fiscal responsibility. We are also for tax breaks for the job creators—the one percenters and big corporations– so you working stiffs can keep your jobs.

And as for the  climate change hoax? We know you want us to fight the Democrat’s job killing restrictions on carbon emissions and will fight them all the way.

So unite behind us, White Working Class!  Our policies will make your lives better, the country stronger and guarantee a good life for all– just like we Republicans did under the leadership of our Great Leader who was robbed in the last election from continuing to rule, but who will return. We are the party of bold, new ideas. We are the party for you!

 

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I have had several inquiries about what happened to “Little Frankie” and what  he turned out to be as an adult. Since he left Nashville to attend prep school in Washington, DC,  I lost track of him and did not see him again after the seventh grade. I had heard rumors from time to time that he was as wild and crazy as ever, but no one knew where he lived or what he was up to.

Yesterday, however, a dear friend who grew up in Nashville and who was also a friend of Frankie, was able to track down information. He had found an obituary online in a Nashville newspaper dated June 3, 2012, which followed Frankie’s death from cancer.

I found the obituary telling and profound. It was beautifully written by his only child (not sure if male or female) and is compelling both for what it says and what is between the lines. Here it is verbatim except for all references to names of real people, which I routinely omit to protect the privacy of people I write about:

 In 1979, he married my wonderful mother, in Atlanta. I was born in 1980, his only child. Dad lived his last two decades in the foothills of the Carolinas, where he found love and a muse in a dear woman, whom we lost to cancer in 2006. My father affectionately recalled his student years at Episcopal High School (VA), Columbia and Ohio State Universities, and his years spent in The Big Apple, Europe and Australia provided fodder for many enthusiastically spun stories and ‘what not to do’ lessons. In the dark middle ages, he meddled in financial markets but regained his senses in time to publish two poetry books, a play and a memoir. A deeply philosophical and studious soul, Dad was at once poetic and pedantic, volatile and calculated. He ventured into the full and vivid spectrum of humanity, and, in his brightest moments, highlighted the divinity of us all. Of his energy, I will forward that which was of beauty and brilliance to his grandchildren; and that which was of shadow, the Angels and I will continue to crush until it is returned to a point of light once more. La Chaim, Pops! “God’s mercy/ On the Wild/ Ginger Man.” 

Rest in peace, Frankie.

 

 

 

 

 

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