Turning and turning in the widening gyre   

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere   

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all conviction, while the worst   

Are full of passionate intensity.

—William Butler Yeats from “The Second Coming”

     Strange and frightening times, these times we live in. As of this morning, nine pipe bombs, delivered by mail, have been retrieved by law enforcement. People targeted were all atop the list of famous Democrats or Trump critics—the Obamas, Clintons, George Soros, John Brennan, Eric Holder, Debbie Wasserman Shultz, Robert De Niro, Joe Biden and the CNN headquarters. We are told that this may be the tip of an iceberg. Expect more to follow. That no bomb has exploded yet could be due to faulty bomb making, a hoax, or a miracle.

     What are we to make of this?

    What are we to make of a smiling and snarling President of the United States egging on his angry supporters who shout, “lock her up!” every time he mentions Hillary Clinton or Nancy Pelosi or Diane Feinstein? What are we to make of his calling major newspapers and reporters “enemies of the people” and “fake news”? What about his buddying-up with dictators like Kim jon-un, Putin, Erdogan, el-Sisi, and Mohammed ben Salman while trashing Macron, Trudeau, Merkel and most European leaders? His tacit approval of neo Nazis and hate groups? His disrespect for women? Could he be responsible for creating the most hateful and divisive spirit this country has experienced since the Civil War or is Trump the product of our divisiveness, not the cause?

 What are we to make of the fact that the once great and proud Republican Party, the party of Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt, is now the Party of Trump, afraid to challenge any Trump action or statement regardless of how hateful it is or the damage it will do to people or the environment?

 What are we to make of the challenges that call into question the survival of human life on this planet as we  know it? What will happen as global warming causes seas to rise, engulfing most major coastal cities? As mega storms multiply and wipe out cities? What will happen when Bangladesh, a country of 160 million, finds itself underwater?

 What about the vast migration and displacement that is happening before our eyes at an unprecedented pace– the boat people from Africa desperately trying to make it to Europe or the 5,000 refugees from Honduras getting closer each day to our border with Mexico? Those displaced by the Syrian civil war? What will happen to them?

What will happen in Yemen in the next few months if the civil war continues and world relief is not expanded big time? Experts tell us to brace ourselves for the greatest loss of lives due to famine in world history with over 14 million people at risk right now.

  What will happen when rogue states or terrorists get their hands on atomic weapons?

  What will happen? What will happen? What will happen?

    Yeats goes on to conclude his poem:

 Surely some revelation is at hand;

Surely the Second Coming is at hand.   

The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out   

When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi

Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert   

A shape with lion body and the head of a man,   

A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,   

Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it   

Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.   

The darkness drops again; but now I know   

That twenty centuries of stony sleep

Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,   

And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,   

Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

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The following blog post is adapted from an article that I wrote last week that was published in the  October newsletter  of the Women’s National Democratic Club, of which I am, I believe, the only male member.

The mid term election coming up in just over three weeks is the most important mid term election in my lifetime. Democrats have one shot at impeding a tyrannical president, who is leading our country into dangerous and unchartered waters.

The simple message that resonates with almost anyone uneasy with the direction Trump is taking our country in is this: we need to put the brakes on. The polls all show Trump’s declining popularity except from his stalwart base.  A large percentage of Americans are unhappy with what is happening with regard to addressing climate change, the way immigrants are being treated, disparities in income, tax breaks for the rich and super rich, tariff wars, gun violence, access to affordable health care, police brutality against people of color, unaffordable college education, how women are treated, the Russian interference in our elections, and our weakening role as a leader of nations.  The list could go on. With regard to basic human values, the rule of law and what America is supposed to be all about, this President is an unmitigated disaster. The recent ordeal of the Kavanaugh confirmation process only amplifies the toxic influence of Trump and the failure of the Republican-controlled Congress to exercise their Constitutional responsibility to provide a check on an out-of-control executive branch.

Democrats are  very aware of the Trump disaster. You can’t pick up a newspaper or turn on the TV without being reminded of the fragile and frightening state we are in. But it is not just Democrats. It is also a high percentage of Independents—whose ranks are growing as disillusioned Republicans jump ship, and some traditional Republicans, especially well educated, suburban women, who for now are staying in the party but if pushed far enough by the anger toward women, could vote for a Democrat in November.

But make no mistake: It is no longer the Republican Party. It is the Party of Trump. And there is not a single “former Republican,” elected  official in Congress who has had the courage to consistently take on the president for his unconscionable behavior. With the Party of Trump in the majority in both Houses of Congress—and now the Supreme Court– Trump is getting pretty much what he wants. There is no way to stop him unless Democrats regain control of at least one branch of government. 

Yes, protecting people from the Republican agenda of scrapping the pre-existing conditions prohibition under the ACA is important, as are the traditional issues that we Democrats believe in like civil rights, fairness, and a strong social safety net. But those issues are not going to make the difference. With Trump there are no issues. It is all about him, and this mid term election is all about Trump.

It looks like Democrats  have a good chance of taking back control of the House, not so much the Senate, but even that is possible. What we need is a Blue Wave and a big one. This will send a message that America has not sold out on its traditional values and that there is no place for a narcissistic demagogue leading our country. It will show that America still has the resilience to make midcourse corrections.

Pundits and talking heads tell us that the Kavanaugh confirmation has re-energized the Trump base and that they will turn out en mass, possibly delivering a Red Wave, assuring the ‘total victory” that Trump rants about at rallies. If this happens, it is doomsday—not just for Democrats but for everyone who is worried about the divisiveness in our country and where Trump is taking us.

Whether Democrats succeed or not will depend on two things: getting a large share of  the Independent and moderate Republican vote and  voter turnout by Democrats. Trump’s base will turn out. We know that. The record for Democrats turning out in mid term elections is poor, bordering on terrible.  If we are going to change the direction of the country, this year has to be different.

So Democrats: keep your eye on the ball. Though his name is not on the ballot, the 2018 mid term election is about Trump and only about Trump. Checks and balances must return. The stakes have never been higher.

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FN: Thank you, Mr. Speaker, and Mr. Majority Leader of the Senate, for agreeing to this exclusive interview.

McConnell: Never turn down an interview with Fox News. Hey, you want a beer? [McConnell opens a cooler and pulls out three beers.] You have a choice of Coors. They are a major supporter of ultra conservative causes, you know. And you can have a Yuengling. The Yuengling family is one of  Trump’s  buddies.

FN: Actually Yuengling is my favorite beer.

McConnell: You like beer? I like beer. Paul likes beer, right Paul? You like beer, don’t you, Paul?

Ryan: Hey, everybody likes beer. Except Trump. He does not drink. But everyone else likes beer. I like it. You like it. Brett likes it. Our Fox News reporter likes it. Beer is great, really great! [McConnell opens three beer cans and passes them around.]

FN: My first question to you, Mr. McConnell, is how do you interpret the Kavanaugh victory.

McConnell: Well, first of all it was a bipartisan victory and a win for the whole country. He showed the world what he was made of and why he is a great man. He was framed by a woman who probably was paid by  George Soros or Hillary Clinton or somebody to fabricate a totally unbelievable story, and no one believed her. It was great that our Senate on a bipartisan basis, both Republicans and a Democrat, saw through this phony accusation, as did the American people.

FN: With all due respect, sir, I believe women are very upset by this along with some men, and polls show the majority of Americans actually supporting Doctor Christine Blasey Ford.

McConnell: Nonsense. Fake News. You guys at Fox News should know better.

FN: Actually it is spelled Faux News and pronounced like “foe,” not “fox.” Our name makes us sound like  sort of a French newspaper.

McConnell: I am leaving. Paul, we have been ambushed.

Ryan: No, Mitch. Let’s answer a couple of more questions. The French are interested in what happened and why.

McConnell: French splinch.

FN: Mr. Ryan, I know that you are leaving the House soon and have had a distinguished career. How do you look back on your legacy?

Ryan: Damn good beer. Thanks, Mitch, for bringing, Now to your question. My true legacy will be responsible tax policies and fiscal responsibility. I have fought for fiscal constraint, smaller government, and a balanced budget and am proud of what I have accomplished.

FN: But surely you are aware of the enormous deficit that is the result of the massive tax bill which just passed and has benefitted the rich at the expense of the fiscal responsibility. The deficit is growing by leaps and bounds with no end in sight, and further tax cuts are promised by Trump.

Ryan: Where in France did you say you are from?

FN: Not France, just a French name.

Ryan: You are right, Mitch. Ambushed.

FN: What I want to know is how could you vote for such a fiscally irresponsible tax bill?

Ryan: Okay, you asked and here is my answer. There are three reasons. First, the rich need a break. They are over taxed and unfairly treated, especially the top one percent. Sure, they are billionaires, but they have to pay so much taxes it is not fair. It is time they got some relief, and more is coming though I won’t be around to see it since I will be retired. But I know it is coming.

Second, just look at the stock market and the labor market. The economy is booming. Big corporations are making money hand over fist. Everyone who wants a job can get one. UnEmployment is the lowest it has been since the Sixties. Ok wages  have not risen, but frankly that has never been much of a concern anyway.

Third, it will pay for itself. Because the rich will be even richer and the big companies even bigger, though they will pay a smaller share of their income for taxes, they will actually pay more taxes and the deficit will go way down.

FN: But is that happening right now? I believe the deficit is actually going way up.

Ryan: For now, yes, but not in the future.

FN: How can that be?

McConnell: The way that we will assure that the deficit is under control is what we are calling Plan B. We have been working on this secretly for some time and are going to roll it out right after the mid term elections. Plan B is to drastically cut wasteful federal programs. They are a disgrace, and we cannot afford them.

Ryan: You are right, Mitch. The answer is to gut the programs that we all know do not work. Here is what we will do, and by the way, we have the votes to do this. Even in a lame duck Congress, we will pass these bills, and Trump will sign them all. It will be the biggest roll back of these hideous, wasteful, pork barrel, and useless programs in the history of the Republic.

 Here is what you can expect in legislation that I will introduce the day after the mid term elections: Medicaid? No more federal funding. If states want to continue, they can, but not on the federal nickel. Same for food stamps, a totally useless program. Disability and so called Section 8, Housing Choice Vouchers and public housing, all forms of welfare, plus most of the federal money for mass transit? Outa there! Federal support for education? Gone. US AID? No money for that giveaway.

And we are going to eliminate funding for entire agencies like the EPA. Good riddance to that fiasco of an agency that pretends to deal with issues that do not even exist like climate change. And also the Department of Education and Energy and HUD. All useless. More will follow, like the IRS and Transportation. If states like the useless stuff these agencies do, they can continue on their own.

 Anyway that is the easy stuff. We figure it will cut the federal work force by 40%. We will also sharply curtail both social security and Medicare though we have not worked out all the details. Seniors will scream bloody murder, so we will have to deal more gently, but I guarantee it will happen. This rollout is the big news that your so called Foe Press can publish. This will change America forever and for the better, and this will assure my legacy.

McConnell [opening the cooler]: More beers anybody?

FN: I think I will take a glass of very strong Scotch.

McConnell: And the beauty of all this is that right now, we, The Party of Trump, control everything. We control the House, the Senate, and now the Supreme Court. If Trump has his way and the Court backs him up as we know it will, we will soon own the press as well. We have a strongman as our President who calls all the shots. No one dares cross him. Trump is not only for this legislation, he has assured me that by whatever means necessary it will pass. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make America great again, and we are doing it. Paul and I both will go down in the history books as the greatest ever along with President Trump, of course.

FN: Unless there is a big backlash at the polls and the American people do not accept this nonsense.

McConnell: OK, this interview is over. I have heard enough from this foe news guy! Let’s go, Paul. [Both men chug down their second beer, give each other a high five and exit the interview.]

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Our Faux News investigative reporter is back after spending several weeks in a DC rehab facility for people suffering from nervous breakdowns. In his usual disguise as a White House janitor, he was able to record the following conversation between Trump and three interns chosen by the Freedom Caucus, who happened to be in the Oval Office on a “President Admiration Interview” when  Susan Collins announced her “yes” vote.

Trump: Hot damn, knew she would come through and now Manchin. It’s over, baby! Greatest victory of all time!

Intern 1: Really the greatest of all time?

Trump: That is what they are saying on Fox News, and they know. No president has ever appointed two judges who were confirmed during the first half of his first term. Put this down in your history books.

Intern 2: You are wonderful, Mr. President. You are the greatest president ever. The greatest leader. We are so honored to be here with you.

Trump: We will see what happens. I believe I may have a job waiting for you when you graduate. You know anything about being an Attorney General?

Intern 3 (the only female): I agree, your Presidency, that you are great, but do you think this might hurt you with the women’s vote and the #MeToos?

Trump: Who let you into the Oval Office?

Intern 3: I apologize. Most women admire and love you as I do. I was just wondering…

Trump: Well, we will have to see how it turns out, but you are right that most women do love me. They can’t keep their hands off me.  It is the women who are the predators, not the men, and that is a proven fact. I am standing up for men, and that is why I will win big in 2020 and why the Republicans will win big in November.

 We will increase our lead in the Senate by 10-12 Senators and double our advantage in the House. You will see a Red Wave like no one has ever seen before. Just look at my rallies. My supporters are everywhere. They kill to get into these rallies.

The November turnout for Republicans will be the greatest in history. Why? Because I deliver. I gave them tax cuts, the biggest of all time. I gave them tariffs and big bucks to the steel industry. They are making money hand over fist. I tore up Nafta and gave them a real trade agreement, which will pay off big time for us and screw our enemy, Canada. I gave them peace with our friend, North Korea, which is now nuclear free, and I got out of the fake, Paris climate deal and the phony, Iran nuclear deal. Everyone knows that climate change is a hoax and that Iran is crooked. I have gotten tough on illegal immigrants and so called refugees, ordering our guards to take  the children away from these no good border crossers, showing ‘em who’s boss.

 And that is just the tip of the iceberg. I have cleaned out the swamp of slimy, no good hangers-on and government creeps. I am standing up to our enemies, the European Union. And just check out the unemployment rate at 3.7%, the lowest in 250 years. Don’t believe the polls or any of the fake news you see on CNN or MSNBC or PBS or read in the fake press, the failing New York Times or Washington Post.

Intern 1: You are wonderful, Mr. President. You are the greatest president ever.

Trump: You know anything about being a Vice President?

Intern 2: Your  Most Revered One, is  the Kavanaugh confirmation the most important in US history?

Trump: Short answer: Yes.  I own the sonofabitch. Gorsuch too for that matter.  They know why they are on the court. Two  ultra conservative votes in the pocket and really three more sitting there on the bench. That makes five. So this is what you can count on: Roe v Wade? Dead. Affirmative action? Even more dead. Obamacare? Unconstitutional. Climate control regulations? Down the drain. Civil Rights bullshit? Over. Bank regulations? Gone. Getting rid of fake voters and keeping the scum from voting? It will happen.

We will see what happens, but this is what the American people want, and they will now get it. The Supreme Court will deliver. They have their marching orders.

And by the way with the new Supreme Court you can count on anti libel laws protecting the press being ruled unconstitutional. This free speech stuff will be in the toilet. I will sue all the fake news organizations for libel any and every time they criticize me. They will all be destroyed.

Intern 3: Can the Supreme Court do all that?

Trump: Some of it. But remember this. I also own the Republican Party, and we own the government. If we increase our power in the Congress, there is no limiting what I can do. And no one in the party can cross me without paying a price. Anyone who does will be primaried out. They fear me. All of them. Just ask flake Flake and little Bobbie Corker. The chickens knew they would not stand a chance against my chosen candidates. Ok, one Republican senator caved on Kavanaugh, but she is toast and not really even a Republican. And who really gives a damn about Alaska anyway? The rest  of the Republican elected officials are in my pocket. And will be as long as I am President.

Intern 1: It is a great day for the country.

Intern 2: Your most Excellent One,  nothing is going to come out of this Mueller probe is there?

Trump: Of course not. I will be fully exonerated, completely, no collusion nowhere, no time, no how. Just like the Kavanaugh mess–the whole thing has been a vicious witch hunt organized and financed by Hillary Clinton. She is the one who should and  will be jailed. In fact there was never any Russian interference in our elections in the first place. I have Putin’s word on that.

Intern 3: There isn’t any truth to the story in the New York Times about you inheriting a lot of money from your father and about tax evasion is there?

Trump: Are you kidding me? Lies, all of it. Every word. Made it all up. Hillary Clinton is behind this. I have directed my lawyers to sue. By the time it gets to the Supreme Court, nothing will protect them, and she will end up in jail where she belongs, along with every editor and reporter for the New York Times.

Intern 1: Hail to the President!

Trump: I have to go now to congratulate the new justice-elect. Kavanaugh is a fine man and deserves our support and sympathy, especially after being falsely accused by that terrible woman, who was really the one who attacked him. It is just terrible the way men are being treated in this country, but we are going to do something about this. Men are going to take our country back. Men are going to make America great again.

All 3 Freedom Caucus interns (in unison): Thank you, Mr. President. You are the greatest of all time!

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My junior year in high school at Montgomery Bell Academy in Nashville, as a social service project, my fraternity provided a turkey to a poor family in Nashville for Thanksgiving. I volunteered to deliver the turkey and all the trimmings. The family was white—a mother, and five or six kids, who were running wild in a run-down house with a junk-filled front yard. I took the turkey into the living room of the house where the only furniture was a card table with six folding chairs and a worn couch in the corner. The mother was probably in her early 40s but looked like she was in her 70s. She explained that her husband was serving time in prison and that is why she was having a hard time getting by. She apologized for the state of her house and seemed embarrassed. Then she thanked me again and again as her kids joyously jumped up and down.

As I returned home, I should have felt self-satisfied for helping a needy family on Thanksgiving. Instead I felt terribly depressed, wondering what they would be eating the rest of the time. How could a family be living like that? What is wrong with our world that they can’t have a decent life? These are the questions that went through my mind, knowing that the next day for my family’s Thanksgiving, we would be joined by loving relatives and enjoy a huge feast.

What should be the proper response to those experiencing hardship and pain? Does delivering a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner get those of us who are well-off off the hook?  Does working in a soup kitchen or putting a quarter into the cup of a beggar exonerate you or give you the right to boast of “doing your part”? What about contributing to a worthy cause or non-profit organization?

I came of age in the South during the 1960s when our national conscience finally conceded that giving a dime here or quarter there did not address the injustices of  Jim Crow and legal segregation, giving rise to the Civil Rights Movement. Embry and I both participated in that movement, which I have written about in Civil Rights Journey. It was a pivotal moment in our lives for which we are both grateful. The idea was to change the system through new laws and by creating a more level playing field. In some ways our country has made great progress. But there is still a long way to go. Is the answer structural, systemic change? Is it social revolution?

Embry and I have also done a lot of traveling around the world and worked in (Embry) or visited many developing countries where shantytowns and slums are prolific, and distraught people besiege you with their hands out, pleading for help. How are we supposed to respond as fellow human beings?

These questions are just as real today as they were when I delivered the turkey to the destitute, white family in Nashville in 1958.

Embry and I are both fortunate to have been able to pursue careers which allowed us to work in fields that tried to address some of the structural barriers resulting in hardship and suffering for many. Embry has done—and continues to do—research on health policy issues, and I have helped develop affordable housing and seniors housing. Is this enough? Does this get us off the hook?

The answer is a resounding “no.” Of course it is not enough. It is never enough. Just ask anyone who has worked in the Peace Corps or worked in US AID projects or on any kind of social initiative. Ask our daughter, Jessica, who has taught elementary school in one of PG County’s most troubled schools. Ask our daughter-in-law, Karen, who is a public defender in Newark. They will not tell you how righteous they feel for “doing good.” They will tell you how hard it is to make a difference and how you do your job as best as you can though you often fail, knowing that your work is never enough.

The world is troubled and fragile. The issues facing the generations behind my own “Silent Generation” are in many ways more ominous and challenging with two doomsday scenarios staring us in the face: the ongoing threat of nuclear war and now climate change. The list of unfinished business is long: income disparities, ethnic and racial inequality, unequal access to affordable health care, domestic and world poverty, increasing polarization, and ominous threats to the democratic process in the Era of Trump, to name a few.

The answer, I think, to the question of what can we do to make a small difference is not an either/or– between trying to change or reform the system versus simply providing a helping hand when we can. It is a both/and. I believe that we should start on the personal level. We should treat all people fairly and respectfully and try to live a life of integrity and kindness. Then there are many additional options and possibilities for making a difference. We can give money to good causes, and we can volunteer to work in those causes and to provide hands-on help to those in need. If we are really lucky as Embry and I have been, we can work in jobs that at least try to be part of the solution rather than the problem. And we can address the social and structural issues by voting for candidates who will vote for laws to level the playing field and provide help to those who are struggling. We can get involved politically  and speak out for candidates we believe in. We also can–and should– stand up for the causes we believe in and for justice.

But in the end, you will realize, as I do, that the world and the universe are much bigger than we are. All we can do is to play our bit part as best as we can, be grateful for the short time allotted to us on his marvelous, lonely, blue planet, and thank God for giving us the opportunity to make a difference.

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In the last blog posting, Gary Green has written a compelling defense of what I would call orthodox Christian faith, for which I am very grateful. While I may qualify as one of those secularists Gary writes about (actually more of a Universalist masquerading as an Episcopalian), I understand his arguments and actually am not as far removed from orthodoxy as you might think.

What really resonated with me was the Geraldo story. If he even had a funeral, it is doubtful that anyone eulogized Geraldo. He did not live a long and productive life, spending a large part of his life in prison and dying in his early 50s. His conversion to Christianity gave him purpose and hope—not only for getting by from day to day but for something much greater: hope that his life on Earth was not futile or his suffering in vain, but that in the mystery of death he would  pass to the Other Side.

One of the troubling questions I have asked myself from time to time is this: if there is no afterlife, if there is no union with the Divine, then what are we to make of the pain and suffering so many people go through during their short lives? The marathon metaphor that I used in “Passings” might make some sense for people who like me were dealt a good hand, but what about those who were dealt the bad hands–people with severe mental or physical illnesses, those who live in inescapable poverty, who have been sexually abused, who are victims of racism or violence, who are not able to establish loving relationships, who tragically lost loved ones, who suffer from addiction or are homeless, or who are just not able to find their way in life for any number of reasons. The list could go on. Are their lives in vain?

I also like to use the metaphor that the value of our lives is determined by how we play the hand we have been dealt. But what about those people who do play their hand as well as they can but suffer nonetheless? Is there no justice?

This is where secular humanism pretty much hits a dead end: Ok, so life sucks. Get over it.

This is where religion, especially Christianity, offers hope: Yes, life may suck, but this is not all. There is more. In the big picture, it will be ok.

But, some might ask, that is what you might hope and believe, but are you just deceiving yourself? Is this just wishful thinking?

These are the questions we humans find ourselves asking as we try to make sense out of our experience and the world around us. As we try to find meaning and purpose, and belief that in the end it all makes sense. As Gary suggests in his posting, there are no hard and fast answers: the pathway leading us through despair is called faith.

The fact that human pain and suffering are real for many people came home to me during that eventful summer of 1965 when I was a chaplain at Boston City Hospital. Almost all the people I visited and befriended were poor, and many were in desperate shape. One recent immigrant from Puerto Rico was so despondent that he had jumped off a bridge to commit suicide only to fall on two elderly pedestrians killing them both. He only broke a leg, and was handcuffed to his bed, awaiting trial for manslaughter. A 23-year-old woman died on my watch from cancer. Her working class family asked me to preside at her funeral, which happened in their small living room in a dilapidated row house in South Boston. Fewer than a dozen people were present. Several others in the hospital had terminal illnesses and as far as I could tell had no visitors except for me.

Embry and I had not married yet, and she was working with kids at an inner city church in Boston, when one evening we went to see “The Pawnbroker,” a film starring Rod Steiger about a calloused and hardened, white, pawnbroker in Harlem, who was taking advantage of poor, struggling African Americans. At first my response was to hate this guy, who was cruel and uncaring; but as the film progressed, through flashbacks it became apparent that he had been a Holocaust victim. His life was only marginally better than the lives of his Harlem customers. I believe there was some sort of redemption at the end, but it did not register with me. As I got behind the wheel of the car, I completely fell apart, sobbing for what must have been at least ten minutes. Embry must have thought I was completely unstable, and she would have not been that far off. It was the closest I have ever come to a nervous breakdown. I could not deal with the suffering that I was seeing all around me at Boston City Hospital, triggered by the suffering portrayed in that extraordinary film. Eventually I got over it and realized I had to move on. I had no choice but to accept that this is just the way the world is.   

The world, of course, is a lot more—a mixture of pain and hope, despair and joy– and at age 76 as I look back on my own life, I feel that I have been truly blessed. I am deeply grateful.

But still. For many this is not the case. There are no guaranteed happy endings, no guaranteed justice or fairness—at least not in the life we live on this planet. And that is why Gary’s telling of the story of Geraldo is compelling and hopeful.

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Gary Green was my roommate at Union Seminary in the fall of 1965, just before my marriage to Embry. After graduating from Union, he received a PhD from Yale in religious studies and joined the faculty at Connecticut College where he taught in the religion department until his retirement a few years ago. Since retiring he has spent a great deal of time and energy in the Prison Movement, working with inmates. He is a noted scholar and theologian and without question the smartest guy I knew at Union or practically anywhere else for that matter. We have stayed in touch over the years since he and his wife, Pricilla, regularly visit DC to see their two adult children and grandchildren, who live in the Baltimore/ Washington region.

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Continue reading “Responses to “Passings”” →

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Two funerals this weekend of old and dear friends, word yesterday of a college fraternity brother’s death, learning a few weeks ago about the tragic death of a good friend’s wife, the stunning, televised, funeral of John McCain, and several close friends with terminal illnesses. When you are in your mid 70s, it is hard to miss the writing on the wall: we aren’t going to live forever.

So what are we to make of this? Is death the moment of our passing into eternal life when we will be reunited with our loved ones who have died before and the moment we will be with God forever? Do you believe this? I don’t, and neither did the friend of mine whose funeral was this weekend. Yet that is what one of the eulogists said about him—that my friend knew that when he died my friend was certain he would go straight to heaven, be reunited with his loved ones, and sit next to Jesus.  Even though he was a loyal and regular churchgoer, I know he didn’t believe this because the two of us had a conversation about it the week before he died. He was in hospice, very weak, and knew the end was near.

“You know, Joe,” he said, “I am a deeply spiritual person and believe in God. I believe that there is a purpose to life and a purpose to the universe. I feel truly blessed and grateful for my life. But do I believe my cremated ashes will be magically reassembled and suddenly I will find myself at a banquet table seated next to Jesus Christ? Please! Death remains a mystery. And what happens next? Who knows? I know some Christians who say, probably nothing. When we die, it is over. And I say that is ok to believe that. What happens next is not what is really important. What is really important is how we live our life on Earth. That is what counts.”

The funeral service for him was  packed. By his standard he scored high.  He lived a rich and full life and was loved by many.

The other funeral Embry and I attended was also in an Episcopal Church. This friend was a former neighbor, a distinguished member of the  foreign service, a former ambassador, and a pillar of his church. His memorial service was also standing room only and recognition of a long and productive life, lived to the fullest. The liturgy was mostly from the Gospel of John with its assurance of  eternal life—but only for those who have committed themselves to Christ and are true believers. My neighbor lived and worked all over the world and knew people of many faiths. He was progressive politically and theologically. I could not help wondering what he would have thought of these passages.

As some of you may know, I studied to become an Episcopal priest and have a  Masters of Divinity degree. I was not ordained into the priesthood but have been an active churchman almost all of my adult life, serving in virtually every lay capacity that you can. Embry has done the same and currently sings in the choir and serves on the vestry at our neighborhood Episcopal Church. We have paid our dues. But does this mean that we have all the answers or that we have certainty that we are going to live in eternity after we die? And how important is having the assurance of eternal life in making sense out of our own, all-too-short, lives on this small, blue planet in a vast universe of billions and billions of galaxies, each with its billions and billions of stars, many with their own planets?

The short answer, in my view, is not very. My friend was right. While no one knows for certain what happens after we die, what we all know is that we do die and have a very short period of time to make the most out of the life we have been given.

I have struggled with the mystery of death and what happens next for a long time. During my years in seminary I spent one summer in Boston as a chaplain at Boston City Hospital where I also participated in a program called “clinical training.” Part  of this involved daily, group therapy sessions led by a trained counselor designed to help seminarians better understand themselves and do better relating to and providing pastoral care to their flock. Toward the end of the program we all had to write an essay about death. I struggled with this and then poured out my heart on paper, trying to make some sense of what death means. When I got the paper back, I received a D with the inscription by one of the program leaders that I would have gotten an F but for the fact that it would have meant that I would have failed the entire clinical training program and also that my essay was well written and thoughtful. My mistake: no mention of the guarantee of an eternal afterlife for Christians and no mention of being united with Jesus Christ forever.

When I asked him about it later, he replied earnestly, “Joe, this is the most fundamental part of the Christian faith. If you are not a believer in going to heaven where you will be with God and Jesus, many in the church believe you are going to hell. How could you leave something like this out?”

Short answer: because I do not believe it. I did not believe it then, and I do not believe it now. So after all some 55 years have passed, I am no closer today than I was then to “knowing the truth.”

 The main role of religion in the human drama, I believe, is giving us some guideposts and affirming universal values, which are remarkably similar across most major religions: values like love, fairness, generosity, justice, honesty, kindness, integrity, selflessness, helping others, humility, and reverence for the Divine.

Now you know why I was deemed unfit for the Episcopal priesthood.

So in my mid 70s when this weekend I attended funerals of two good friends, one about five years younger and the other five years older, I couldn’t help acknowledging that the end of the road is getting closer for my generation and for me. That is just the way it is for us humans, in fact, for all living things. And the odd thing is that the idea of approaching the end of the road scared me a lot more as a young man than it does now. But I suppose this is natural. As a young person you have a whole life in front of you. The fear is that you will not get your chance. As an old man, you have had your chance. You have given life your best shot.

I was a runner for most of my adult life until my knees gave out, and think that running a marathon is a good metaphor for our journey through life. Running a marathon—or any long race—is really, really hard. You struggle to keep going and finally when you stumble across the finish line, you collapse in fatigue and joy. Hey, you did it! You finished the race! No, you didn’t win, but you were never supposed to. You ran at your own pace. And you finished.

And I think that is the way life is. And for that I thank God, who goes by different names in many languages and in many religions. I acknowledge the Divine mystery that we humans can’t explain but which gives meaning to the race we run and in the end, gives us reason to believe that on some deeper level, it all makes sense.

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