You have received no recent posts from me because I have been struggling with a nasty raspatory virus, which thankfully is not Covid, which now appears to be on the mend, and which leads to the current topic: “Do the Golden Years Suck?”. This is not an abstract question. In fact a number of years ago in one of my senior living assignments at Howell Associates, I remember entering one of the premier continuing care retirement communities in the greater Boston area where staring me in the face as I entered the community was a large, framed needlepoint created by one of the residents on which was inscribed in large letters the sentence: “The Golden Years Suck!” When I asked the marketing director what she thought the resident’s artwork had on prospects, she smiled and replied, “No problem. Joe, every prospect entering the front door of this community knows exactly what the needlepoint means. They were not born yesterday.”
AI has this to say about “The “Golden Years of Life”:
“The Golden Years of Life” refers to a period of maximum happiness, prosperity, and achievement, often associated with the later years (roughly 50s-60s onward) characterized by contentment, wisdom, and fulfilling leisure. It is frequently viewed as a time for realizing long-held dreams and enjoying the fruits of a lifetime’s labor.
Key Aspects of the “Golden Years” in Life:
- The later, post-middle-age stage of life. It is viewed as a time for enjoying increased, high-quality leisure time, often following retirement.
- A “New Beginning”: Many view the 60s and beyond as a “golden jubilee” era, using it to begin new hobbies, passions, or careers.
- Deepened Connections: This stage is often defined by strong, long-lasting friendships and deeper, more meaningful social connections.
- Reflection and Contentment: A time to look back on accomplishments with pride and live with a sense of peace.
Really? Truth or fiction?
Of course, this definition is true to a certain extent, but for some people more than others. And you could add to the pluses that you don’t have deadlines or bosses to report to, you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, and you don’t have to care all that much about what other people think of you.
And whether you agree or not that The Golden Years are a good time in life depends on a lot of things, especially your health, your attitude about life, your place in the world, and your relationships. The Golden Years are a mixed bag, and some get dealt very tough hands to play.
I prefer to think of these years as the last lap in a life-long race that has lots of steep hills, streams and rivers to cross, and dangerous cliffs to scale. Such is our fate as Homo sapiens on the planet Earth. Darwin figured out that life is a struggle for every living creature and plant. Survival of the fittest. And just think of all the suffering that is happening on the Planet Earth right now—in Iran, the Sudan, Lebanon, Gaza, and the eastern Congo, in other impoverished and struggling countries all over the world, and in the poor neighborhoods in our own country. Racial prejudice, mental illness, addiction, broken families, poverty, despair, violence and failed dreams persist. None of this comes to a halt on the last lap. No one gets a free ride.
Nowhere is this more evident than in a senior living community. We have seen how The Golden Years play out in the continuing care retirement community where we now live. The average age in here is in the mid-eighties. Most residents have lost a spouse. And everyone living here has experienced a significant loss. Afterall, it is highly unlikely that anyone has a living parent. We are orphans, and many like Embry and me have lost a child. I lost my only brother, four years younger than me, who died in his sixties. Embry has lost both of her older brothers. We both have lost close friends. Everyone living here with us in this senior living community would have similar stories. We all are aware that our limited time on the planet Earth is coming to an end, that this is indeed our last lap. This is just the way it is, not only at senior living communities but for everyone who is in the final states of life.
And yet my fellow residents here soldier on without complaining—the aches and pains, the mobility and balance issues and the infirmities waiting in the wings to nab you. People take all this in stride and move on. They remain positive about life, fully engaged, and are an inspiration to me.
Whether you are religious or not there is a spiritual aspect about running the last lap. You can’t avoid the constant reminder of your own mortality. In the senior living community where we live photos are posted every week of those who have passed away, and an average of three people die every month. One resident told me he checks the photos every week just to be sure there is no photo of him. Yet that does not keep you from appreciating what you have and trying to make the most out of the time you have left.
One of the retirement communities I did consulting for was a Catholic community in New England where the executive director told me of one resident who after being lukewarm about church attendance suddenly started attending every mass that was offered. When he asked her what had changed in her life she replied, “I am cramming for finals.”
Which leads back to the question as to whether The Golden Years suck. Yes, they do and no, they don’t. They do because of aches, pains, serious illnesses and loses. They don’t because it is a gift to be able to cherish what you have and to try to get the most out of the time you have left.
For those who have been reading my blog, it will come as no surprise that I do not have all the answers regarding what happens next. No, I do not believe that I will wake up and find myself sitting at a heavenly banquet table between God on one side and Jesus on the other. Yes, I am hopeful that the universal spirituality among humans will continue in some way.
Old age is a time for spiritual reflection, cherishing what you have, squeezing those last drops out of the lemon, and perhaps most important giving thanks for your short time on the stage.